The Cheap Crusader

This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend Dan Piraro created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.

Wayno

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Takers and fakers and talkers won't tell you
Teachers and preachers will just buy and sell you
When no one can tempt you with heaven or hell

You'll be a lucky man.

Alan Price, from the song "O Lucky Man!"

I've quoted Price's title song from the 1973 film O Lucky Man! in the past and will probably do so again. The tune has been playing in my head as we observe certain people doing their damnedest to reshape the country into an oppressive theocracy (pardon the redundancy). One of these maniacs, recently elevated to a high governmental position, was described by the Guardian as "a fevered zealot; in thrall of baroque and morbid religious fantasies; beholden to a regressive, bigoted and morbid worldview; and above all, obsessed – with a lurid and creepy enthusiasm – with sex, and how he thinks it should be done."

The recent elections yielded some hopeful results (Yay, Ohio!), so perhaps all is not lost yet.

Apologies for the gloomy intro. Sometimes a dread for humanity has to be expressed rather than bottled up.

But my job in this weird old world is to try to bring some levity to our readers, which we'll get to after today's pipe pic.

This one comes from my friend Paul Nesja, a co-host of the excellent New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest Podcast, who found this pipe-shaped planter at a relative's home. 

I wonder what sort of plant it once held?

Thanks to Paul for sharing this with us.

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Okay, let's see if this week's comics can lessen any feelings of existential angst.

The vest and boots are made of vegan leatherette.

This gag was a natural for a vertical strip layout and was the first of two in this week's comics. 

This feature is especially popular when announcing gate changes.

Jim S, a Facebook connection pointed out that this gag ran on National Bundt Day. I had not planned it and was completely unaware of the holiday, but Wikipedia confirmed it and provided the following info:

[It] did not gain real popularity until 1966, when a Bundt cake called the "Tunnel of Fudge", baked by Ella Helfrich, took second place at the annual Pillsbury Bake-Off and won its baker $5,000.

Is it just me or does "Tunnel of Fudge" sound like a horrific carnival ride?

The gag was also our second vertical strip of the week. 

When I learned that it ran National Bundt Day, my first thought was, "What are the odds?" My second thought was, "Oh yeah, one in three hundred sixty-five."

The day I drew this cartoon, I learned the correct spelling of Whac-a-Mole.

A second superhero gag arrived on Friday, giving equal time to the big two comic book juggernauts. 

Another Facebook buddy, Michael G, came up with "The Cheap Crusader," which I've appropriated as this post's title. Muchas gracias, Michael!

Normally, converting a panel into a strip involves shuffling and repositioning multiple elements using Photoshop, but in a rare instance of advanced planning, my original art (mostly) worked in both formats. It wasn't exactly a seamless conversion, but it needed very little tweaking.

As this scan of the original drawing shows, I decided to change Frankie's jacket to a scouting uniform and thought his head was too small. It's always something.

That's the latest from our Little Shop of Humor. Thanks for checking in. We'll have more humorous distractions from reality next week. 

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Bonus Track 

The Liverpool Scene: "Batpoem"
Live on an unidentified TV program

February, 1969

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