Showing posts with label Animals. Show all posts

Saturday, September 06, 2025

Four Strings, No Waiting

This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend, Dan Piraro, created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.

Wayno

We've got technological wonders around us, and we've used them to abrogate all responsibility for everything in our lives.

Harlan Ellison (1934-2018)

This timely observation comes from our pipe pic model of the week: Harlan Ellison, the prolific enfant terrible of science fiction (a term he hated).

It was recommended by field correspondent Glenn G., as well as Kent, a regular blog reader and commenter.

Glenn also provided some background for those who aren't familiar with Ellison's work:

I thought I'd submit for your approval a pipe pic of my favorite author, Harlan Ellison. I don't know if you are familiar with his stories (mostly in sci-fi short stories) or his many columns of movie and/or television criticism. He wrote a number of memorable TV episodes for The Outer Limits, and one for Star Trek (which is considered by many to be the best ever of the original series), and other short story collections.

I became enamored of the man and his writing in the '70s. A couple of his most often repeated quotes are: "The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity," and my favorite, "You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant."

You can see many of his short videos of commentary from the '80s on YouTube. Check out Harlan Ellison's Watching.

This is Ellison's second pipe pic to appear on the ol' blogeroo. A little over a year ago, we featured a shot of him writing while on exhibit in a bookshop window.

Big Bizarro thanks to Glenn and Kent for the suggestion, which reminds me, I still haven't read The Last Dangerous Visions, the third and final mammoth volume of the anthology series that Ellison launched in 1967. It's on the pile, and I hope to get to it soon.

I have only myself to blame for the latest batch of Bizarro gags, and am planning to keep it that way. No abrogation of responsibility for us!

Tropical shredding is the training program for aspiring air guitarists.

I decided on a vertical strip layout to showcase the full effect of this misunderstood musical art form.

If you'd like to see the reference photo I used to draw this one, check out my free Substack newsletter.

Who doesn't love tablesside sserivce?

I drew the cacti as accurately as I could, but their relative sizes are all over the place.

Over the years, what begins as a curricula transport system eventually becomes an adorable fashion accessory.

Thursday's panel imagines a theater where some patrons never have to miss a minute of the performance. Culture plus convenience!

We are all frogs in the skillet.

The book cover in the comic is an homage to Milton Glaser's 1961 cover for the Signet paperback edition. The first time I read 1984, it was this version, and Glaser's simple, effective design is burned into my mind's eye.

As more people return to the office, you can't be too careful.

Our Latest Bizarro Fashion Plate

Sheila H. of Tucson models one of the new "Eye Heart" T-shirts available in the Comics Kingdom Bizarro Shop. These comfy garments come in five different designs and an array of colors.

Our original Jazz Pickle, Pipe of Ambiguity, and Irön Bunnies öf Dööm shirts are also still available in the shop. All sales benefit your cartoonists. We'd love to share a photo of you in your BeeTees, too!

[End of commercial break.]

That's the latest nuttiness from my Little Shop of Humor. Stop by again next week if you'd like to see more of this stuff.

Bonus Video

Roy Smeck: "Tiger Rag"
Unknown film source, circa 1920s-1930s

Roy Smeck was a Vaudeville performer who became widely known when Warner Brothers featured him in their first "sync-sound" film in 1926. He made numerous other film appearances and had endorsement deals for guitars, as well as selling sheet music and music instruction books.

Smeck played Hawaiian guitar, banjo, ukulele, and guitar, as evidenced by this Yazoo LP/CD cover:

Underground cartoonist Robert Crumb did the beautiful hand-lettered titles on the cover. The LP was released in 1976 and is highly recommended. It's even available on your favorite streaming services.

A Glut of Bizarro Giddiness

If you like what we do and appreciate that it's free, we encourage you to explore the following links.

CK Bizarro Shop (Get your t-shirts here!)

Wayno's Tip Jar (One-time or recurring)

Dan's Tip Jar (One-time or recurring)

Dan Piraro on BlueSky

Wayno on BlueSky

Wayno's Weekly Newsletter

@WaynoCartoons on Instagram

Dan Piraro's Bizarro Blog

Subscribe to The Naked Cartoonist

Dan "Diego" Piraro's Peyote Cowboy Graphic Novel

Daily Email Subscription to Bizarro

Support Your Local Humorist

Wednesday, August 27, 2025

Accusez-Moi

Wayno

Disillusioned words like bullets bark

As human gods aim for their mark

Make everything from toy guns that spark

To flesh-colored Christs that glow in the dark

It’s easy to see without looking too far

That not much is really sacred

While preachers preach of evil fates

Teachers teach that knowledge waits

Can lead to hundred-dollar plates

Goodness hides behind its gates

But even the president of the United States

Sometimes must have to stand naked

Bob Dylan

Yes, I'm quoting the Bard of Hibbing again, with an excerpt from his 1964 composition, "It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)."

These lyrics from a record released sixty years ago are still relevant, probably more than when they were originally committed to tape.

I can't add anything to such righteous poetry, so I'll close out this intro to the Labor Day weekend post to express 1) appreciation for all the workers who are the foundation of our economy, and 2) hope that it doesn't crash around us because of the actions of needy, greedy accumulators of obscene, unearned wealth who never engaged in honest work.

Bizarro reader Scot G. of Upland, CA, sent today's atmospheric pipe pic, which he shot earlier this year.

Scot's notes from the field:

I was in Miami Beach a week ago to see my favorite band, moe, play at the outdoor arena known as the Band Shell just off the beach. While watching the band perform, the percussionist, who is known for vaping during a concert, pulled out the famous Wayno symbol. Despite my attempts to take the perfect picture, the best I could do was a foggy image of percussionist Jim Loughlin. Even if you never use this picture, I thought you would enjoy the intersection.

How could I not use this image, Scot? I love its unretouched rawness. It certainly has the feel of being at a live show.

We'll never get rich making comics, but we're going to keep doing it as long as we're able, because the connection to our community of readers is a reward we treasure.

Drawing the antlers (mutantlers?) was an oddly relaxing experience. I first drew them using a wide highlighter to maintain a relatively consistent thickness, then inked around the guideline.

Drawing anything by hand is a healthy activity for the brain. You should do it too, even if you never show your drawings to anyone.

I may have gone overboard with the art for the strip version, but I felt great when I finished it.

I couldn't resist the idea of doing a gag about a nineteenth-century French novelist as a child. Unsurprisingly, online comments were divided. Take these two, for example:

1) A modern internet joke without historical basis. Too erudite for me.

2) I frequently learn new things when reading Bizarro!

As a cartoonist, I'm grateful for readers who pay attention and care enough to have opinions.

A wise pig can see parallels in the lives of others.

Your obsessive artist experienced much satisfaction drawing and coloring the damaged picture frame in the background of this panel.

I probably spent more time than necessary, but it was nearly as calming as the antler drawing.

Surely there must be one nearby.

Not an understatement.

The strip layout required significant shuffling, but we got there!

That's the latest from Bizarro Studios North. See you in September.

Bonus Track

The Coasters: "I'm a Hog For You"

Atco Records 45, 1959

There was so much more to the Coasters than "Yakety Yak." This song was the B-side of their "Poison Ivy" single. Both sides were written by Lieber & Stoller, who found a perfect vehicle for their compositions in the Coasters.

Much More Bizarro Mayhem

If you like what we do and appreciate that it's free, we encourage you to explore the following links.

CK Bizarro Shop (Get your t-shirts here!)

Wayno's Tip Jar (One-time or recurring)

Dan's Tip Jar (One-time or recurring)

Dan Piraro on BlueSky

Wayno on BlueSky

Wayno's Weekly Newsletter

@WaynoCartoons on Instagram

Dan Piraro's Bizarro Blog

Subscribe to The Naked Cartoonist

Dan "Diego" Piraro's Peyote Cowboy Graphic Novel

Daily Email Subscription to Bizarro

Support Your Local Humorist

Saturday, August 23, 2025

The Spy Who Came In From the Shell

Wayno

Let us encourage one another with visions of a shared future. And let us bring all the grit and openheartedness and creative spirit we can muster to gather together and build that future.

Norman Lear (1922-2023)

Last week, I spent a few days in Boston attending the National Cartoonists Society's annual meeting and the Reuben Awards. This was the 79th Reuben Awards (I've only attended ten or eleven, all in the current century).

The awards themselves are, of course, very nice (I received one last year), but they serve as a way of celebrating fellow artists rather than competing against them.

The real value of the two-day-plus-breakfast event is being among other people who typically spend all day hunched over a drawing table or squinting at a computer screen. It's a gathering of colleagues who are actually collegial, and so much more. New attendees wear a "first timer" ribbon attached to their name tag, and they're soon overwhelmed by an outpouring of welcoming and good cheer from regular attendees.

There are only about 500 NCS members worldwide, and nearly every one I know is supportive of their peers and accepting of each other, regardless of differences. We were all glad to catch up on each other's lives and accomplishments, and immerse ourselves in nerdy shop talk.

The organization also has a charitable arm, the NCS Foundation, which awards scholarships to young cartoonists and provides financial assistance to cartoonists in need, quietly and anonymously. (Very few members of our profession achieve Garfield-level financial independence.)

I've made many friends through the organization, some of whom were already longtime heroes.

I returned home this week energized and inspired, though with a touch of laryngitis from many hours of gabbing and laughing.

The event was a welcome change from the rancor and divisiveness consuming the country, and a reminder that kindness and goodwill still exist, as corny as that may sound. We experienced a bit of what Norman Lear was advocating for, and I hope you encounter it often as well.

Today's pipe pic model is William A. Rhodes (1916-2007), an inventor and astronomer who claimed to have photographed UFOs in 1947 and 1950.

I saw this photo of Rhoads in a documentary about UFO researchers and poked around online until I found a usable image for the blog. I wonder if either of the objects Rhoads sighted resembled Bizarro's Flying Saucer of Possibility.

Speaking of which, may I remind you that our new "Eye Heart" T-shirts are available in the Comics Kingdom Bizarro Shop?

Apologies for the commercial message, but with newspapers drying up and blowing away, we have to pan for pyrite wherever we can, so we're able to keep making comics for you all.

As a public service, we now present the latest sextet of humorous quadrilaterals to emerge from Bizarro Studios.

Secret Slug does what it takes to fight organized slime.

Who doesn't enjoy dining at a four %#$@ restaurant?

Since attending these meetings, he's become hooked on decaf coffee and artificial sweeteners.

One wrong click can spell disaster.

Here's a peek at an early draft, which I decided not to use.

A well-placed accent mark can turn a familiar name into a cartoon caption.
The visual composition called for a vertical strip layout.

A few would-be editors pointed out that "peso" isn't Spanish for "cash." The Spanish word "efectivo" isn't widely known to English speakers, and using it would have sidetracked the gag. Sometimes one takes linguistic license to make a cartoon work effectively.

Of course, I knew we weren't using a literal translation. I also knew not to engage with pedants looking for an argument. I have plenty of arguments with myself, thank you very much.

The patient also has recurring nightmares about Saint Patrick.

That's the latest comical output from Bizarro Studios North. Your next delivery will arrive in one week.

Be sure to peruse current and upcoming gags anytime at Comics Kingdom.

Bonus Track

Graham Parker & the Rumour:
Waiting for the UFOs

From Squeezing Out Sparks
Arista Records LP, 1979

Graham Parker's Squeezing Out Sparks is one of those albums I always play from start to finish without skipping any tracks. At the time of its release, Arista also issued a promotional-only album called Live Sparks, which featured live versions of every song on the album plus "Mercury Poisoning," an indictment of his former label in the US, and a cover of the Jackson Five's "I Want You Back."

The 1996 compact disc release includes both the original studio album and Live Sparks.

Great Gobs of Bizarro Goodness

If you enjoy what we do and appreciate that it's free, we encourage you to explore the following links.

CK Bizarro Shop (Get your t-shirts here!)

Wayno's Tip Jar (One-time or recurring)

Dan's Tip Jar (One-time or recurring)

Dan Piraro on BlueSky

Wayno on BlueSky

Wayno's Weekly Newsletter

@WaynoCartoons on Instagram

Dan Piraro's Bizarro Blog

Subscribe to The Naked Cartoonist

Dan "Diego" Piraro's Peyote Cowboy Graphic Novel

Daily Email Subscription to Bizarro

Support Your Local Humorist

Saturday, August 02, 2025

Thinking Outside the Bubble

This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend Dan Piraro created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.

Wayno

I have always found it interesting that there are people who regard copyright infringement as a form of flattery.

Tom Lehrer (1928-2025)

Tom Lehrer, the mathematics professor who wrote satirical and humorous songs like "The Vatican Rag," "Poisoning Pigeons in the Park," and "So Long, Mom (A Song for World War III)," died on July 26 at the age of 97.

Lehrer's lyrics were sharp, witty, and dark, while the music was jaunty, upbeat, and catchy as hell. His total output consisted of 37 songs written over approximately 20 years, which may not be a large quantity, but the work was consistently excellent.

In 2022, undoubtedly aware that he wouldn't be around forever and having no family or heirs, Lehrer donated all of his music and lyrics to the Public Domain, meaning that anyone could use his material in any way they wished.

If the quote above is indeed something he said, he had little tolerance for plagiarists. Cartoonists are well aware of intellectual property theft and experience it every day. It's ridiculously simple to steal a cartoon image online and remove the artist's name. That's galling enough, but some miscreants also alter the text to fit their political loyalty or worldview.

Pointing out violations to people who (perhaps) innocently share bastardized cartoons sometimes results in them removing the offending image, but once something's out there and replicated thousands of times, it's impossible to catch them all.

Often, when someone is notified that they're wrongly sharing a human being's art without proper attribution, they'll say something like, "Hey, you should be grateful for the exposure!"

It's 2025, and we've all been using the internet for around thirty years now. Everyone knows that it's wrong to steal, but what can you do about it? I don't have an answer, but every once in a while, I feel the need to howl into the windstorm, if only to get it out of my system.

Getting back to Tom Lehrer, I first heard one of his records while I was in high school, in a course called World Cultures. At the time, I didn't fully appreciate our teacher, who introduced us to the world beyond our rural Pennsylvania community. Some of our class projects involved preparing and sharing foods from different countries, and we covered a wide range of topics, including music.

I recall our teacher setting up one of those suitcase record players to play Tom Lehrer songs, and then explaining the meanings behind them. I wish I had been more open to learning opportunities, instead of sitting in the back of the room cracking wise. Despite myself, I memorized most of the words to "Lobachevsky," Lehrer's takedown of academic plagiarism, and I still love that tune.

I'm projecting a message into the universe for Mr. Ullman, my old World Cultures teacher:

Thanks for broadening my horizons and putting up with my crap. You did a good job under often trying circumstances.

While I'm at it, I'll send ethereal thanks to Tom Lehrer for showing that it's possible to produce art while also working in an unrelated field. I've done it in the past, and it's not easy. I'm grateful to be working on a single career that I absolutely love.

I swiped today's pipe pic from artist Tom Neely's BlueSky account.

The panel came from an issue of Flippity & Flop, a DC Comics publication that ran from 1952 to 1960. The comic was based on a 1946-47 Columbia Pictures animated series, featuring a canary (Flippity, originally named Flippy), a cat (Flop), and a dog (Sam).

Though similar, the series of four Flippy & Flop cartoons pre-dated Warner Bros.' Tweety & Sylvester cartoons.

Tom Neely's BlueSky account appears to have been abandoned, but he's active on Instagram as @iwilldestroytom.

After two weeks of musical gags ("Now Playing on AI Radio"), we're back to our usual assortment of random comical topics.

I'd like to thank a particular reader who contacted me to point out a punctuation error I made in a Bizarro gag a year ago. I got in touch with them and let them know that I corrected the panel in the archives. Since then, we've had occasional and quite cordial correspondence, some of which partly inspired this new panel.

At least the kid isn't being embarrassed in public.

There have been countless jokes about complicated coffee drink orders, but I couldn't find a prior occurrence of "dehyphenated" coffee. That's my style of drink: a well-made espresso in a ceramic demitasse.

Thursday's panel plays with the visual vocabulary of comics and is a hat-tip to the late Mort Walker. Walker created the Beetle Bailey comic, which will soon celebrate its 75th anniversary. He also wrote The Lexicon of Comicana, a book about the symbols and conventions of cartooning. A new edition of The Lexicon is being published in September, and it will include panels by both Dan Piraro and me as illustrative examples.

Update: A helpful blog reader recommends Bookshop.org as a source for those who aren't interested in further enriching a certain baldheaded greed monster.

We've all had this conversation, haven't we?

Desperation is the mother of folly.

That concludes this week of normal Bizarro comics, whatever "normal" is for us. Drop by again next Saturday to see what sort of shenanigans we put out there into the world.

New BizarroWear

The Comics Kingdom Shop has released a new line of Bizarro tees and baseball caps.

Due to popular demand, in addition to white, black, and gray t-shirts, we're offering several supersaturated colors. The ultra-bright colors are available in all sizes except XS, 4X, and 5X.