This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend, Dan Piraro, created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.
Wayno
You pity the fool because you don't want to beat up a fool! You know, pity is between sorry and mercy. See, if you pity him, you know, you won't have to beat him up. So that's why I say fools, you gotta give another chance because they don't know no better. That's why I pity them!
Mr. T
Happy Saturday from Hollywood Gardens, PA.
Today, instead of riffing on the introductory quote (what more could one add anyway?), we're jumping in with this week's pipe pic. Our puffing poster boy is the late Donald Sutherland portraying Paul Gauguin in the 1986 film, The Wolf at the Door.
The photo comes to us (indirectly) from faithful Bizarro correspondent Frank V. of Albany, NY.
Frank sent me an intriguing photo that purportedly depicts a meeting of Gauguin and van Gogh in 1887. It's a group shot of six men seated around a table, with multiple bottles of wine. A few of the men appear to be smoking pipes. Unfortunately, it's extremely blurry. I spent some time searching the web for a clearer version, but had no luck.
However, the rabbit hole I went down contained the photo of Sutherland, which is worth sharing, so a tip of the Bizarro beret goes to Frank for sending me on a quest with an unexpected outcome.
Writing gags (or any creative endeavor) can be a lot like searching for a particular photo, getting sidetracked, and stumbling upon something else entirely to work with. The human mind has as many surprises waiting to be discovered as the internet. Let's take a look at what emerged from the hidden recesses of your cartoonist's brain this week.
"Nice belt you have there, Orion. It'd be a shame if something accidental happened to it."
I recently overheard a conversation at a coffee shop in which someone mentioned studying for an Organic Chemistry final, but I processed the phrase as "Organic Dentistry." Maybe I underheard the conversation.
I scribbled the phrase in my sketchbook and later remembered seeing a video of a "fish pedicure," where people submerge their feet in a pool and let tiny fish nibble away their dead skin cells. After a few moments of retching, I drafted this cartoon.
Karaoke is inherently funny in the abstract, but as a real-life experience, it ranges from amusing to excruciating.
If reading this panel feels disorienting, imagine drawing it.
Coincidentally, in the latest edition of his Substack newsletter The Ink-Stained Wretch, my colleague Tom Richmond mentioned Mr. T and drew him.
Tom also wrote that in 1993, he did some art for NOW Comics and attended San Diego Comic-Con as part of their crew. At the time, NOW was publishing a Mr. T comic book, and the actor was at the booth with Tom.
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| L-R: old pal Roy Tompkins, Mr. T, Wayno |
Oddly enough, I also attended SDCC that year, and made sure to have a photo taken with Mr. T, so it's likely that Tom and I were within a few feet of each other years before we ever met.
Be sure to check out Tom Richmond's newsletter. He's a great caricaturist, and he has tons of stories about working for MAD and other experiences from his long career.
It turns out this wasn't the week to make a joke about IRS audits, as the no-longer-aptly-named Department of Justice just gave an entire family of shameless tax cheats immunity from audits of any and all of their filings prior to this year. The joke's on all of us.
Please drop by again next Saturday for a new batch of cartoons and commentary, a fresh pipe pic, and who knows what else.
Bonus Track
Fingerprintz: "2AT"
from The Very Dab
Virgin Records (1979)
I saw Fingerprintz perform twice. The first time was in 1979 when they were the backing band for Rachel Sweet, an Ohio teenager who had signed to Stiff Records, and was on tour opening for the Cars. We met the members of Fingerprintz and hung out for a couple of hours after the show.
I saw them again in January 1980 when they were on a US tour opening for XTC; a great double bill. I chatted with them after the show, and they told me that the title "2AT" was a tribute to Booker T. Jones of Booker T and the MGs, and was unrelated to Mr. T.
Drummer Bogdan Wiczling and guitarist Cha Burnz played Pittsburgh once more, in 1983, when they were employed as members of Adam & the Ants. It was a treat to reconnect with them, but I think they were a little embarrassed by their stage clothing and makeup. A gig's a gig.
Big Bad Bizarro Bonanza
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