This
is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics
since 2018. My partner and friend Dan Piraro created Bizarro in
the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho
Bizarro in Mexico.
Wayno
Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction. (attributed to Blaise Pascal)
The (possibly mistranslated) words of Pascal (1623-1662) ring truer than ever four centuries later. Whether he actually wrote or intended them to be read as above could be questioned, like everything we see on the web. Regardless of the source, it's a valid statement.
I'd composed a follow-up paragraph listing current examples but deleted it because 1) it would inevitably be incomplete, and 2) Pascal's words are elegant and effective as they stand.
I will simply say: Remember to vote, kids, no matter how many obstacles they try to put in your way.
Our pipe pic is a shot of a New Zealand soldier in the Egyptian Desert during World War II. Longtime Bizarro reader Alyn H linked me to it.
It appeared under the breathless heading 27 Amazing Photos of World War Two in Color. The page featured colorized versions of original black & white photos, which I found laughable for a site called "History Defined."
The US Office of War Information did shoot hundreds of color photos of the mobilization efforts for World War II, which would have been more interesting (and accurate) than colorized black and white images, but as we've seen, a lot of people view history as malleable.
The picture of our pipe-smoking New Zealander would have been perfect in its original form. Even with technological advances, colorized black & white photos still look like colorized black & white photos.
Despite the curmudgeonly digression, I appreciate receiving the link and tip my hat to Alyn for spotting and sending it.
Let's see if I stayed inside the lines when colorizing this week's Bizarro comics.
During the Paleolithic age, paints were available in a more limited palette than we have today.
He had a hunch this might happen.
The latest in my ongoing series of inanimate objects as cartoon protagonists. I can't explain why I enjoy gags like these, so I won't try. I can, however, promise more of them in the future.
I took a risk by starting with such a vertically oriented image, but the strip conversion wasn't difficult once I realized that the guitar was recognizable even with most of the neck out of frame.
The dentist will also wear a surgical mask when working on Patreon supporters.
Tell me you didn't hear the Morricone soundtrack music when you read this one, I dare you.
We ended the week with another panel that might create a sound in the reader's head.
Beer Here!
I worked withEast End Brewing Company on all four releases of a special brew called Illustration Ale. Batches were sold in 2010, 2011, and 2013 as fundraisers for a now-defunct cartoon museum here in Pittsburgh.
Each release featured labels designed by a six-pack of Pittsburgh cartoonists and illustrators. My job was to help choose and contact participating artists, create a template for the labels, and coordinate submitting them to the Alcohol and Tobacco Tax and Trade Bureau for review and approval.
East End's founder, Scott Smith revived the project for 2017 and gave me a list of six artists he wanted to be included. I was surprised and thrilled to find my name on that list. The 2017 release raised money for HEARTH Pittsburgh, a worthy organization providing much-needed services to local families.
If another Illustration Ale release turns up sometime in the future, I'll look forward to the art and the beer.
Bonus Track #1
Aurora Nealand & Tom McDermott "Broken Windmill" Live at Buffa's Lounge, New Orleans, 2013
Bonus Track #2
Rory Danger and the Danger Dangers "Let's Have a Party" Live at the Toulouse Theater, New Orleans, 2022
A few weekends back, I made a quick visit to New Orleans to catch some music at the French Quarter Festival. The friend I accompanied told me not to miss a band called Rory Danger and the Danger Dangers. Their show on Sunday afternoon was a wild mix of rock, rockabilly, comedy, theatre, and performance art, and was my favorite of the many great sets I saw that weekend.
Rory Danger is the alter ego of Aurora Nealand, an accomplished vocalist and multi-instrumentalist. In the first video, she performs with my friend, pianist Tom McDermott, who also writes a fine limerick. The second video features Rory Danger wailing on Wanda Jackson's "Let's Have a Party." It's a terrific video but doesn't compare to seeing this band in person.
It's time for another dispatch from Bizarro Studios North. March has come in like a mutant lion-lamb hybrid, and in a couple weeks we'll be resetting our clocks for reasons no one can remember or explain.
This week's bucolic pipe pic comes to us courtesy of faithful Bizarro reader Glenn S. It's a portrait of country music star Dave "Stringbean" Akeman, taken at his home in March, 1962.
Photo: Jack Corn/The Tennessean
Stringbean (1915-1973) was regarded as one of the best claw-hammer banjo players of all time, and had a long career as a musician and comedian before becoming more widely known as a cast member on Hee Haw, a TV variety show featuring music and corny humor. The program ran from 1969 to 1971 on CBS, and in syndication through 1993.
As a star of the Grand Ole Opry, Stringbean exaggerated his gangly appearance with wacky outfits that made him resemble a funhouse mirror image.
Thanks to Glenn for the great photo, and for pointing me toward some excellent music to explore.
That picture of Stringbean on stage makes the human anatomy in my drawings look almost normal. Speaking of which, here's my latest comic output for your review.
Monday's protagonist is either a pastry lover or an arms enthusiast.
Another tragic interspecies love story. Just wait till Wolfie whispers, "I'd like to try on your clothing."
On Wednesday, we looked at the mundane side of life in the Marvel universe.
The panel and the strip each contained four secret symbols, but not the same four.
Long before adopting his pen name, little Eric Blair created an early draft of one of his best known works, though at the time, he called it Edible Farm.
Our second superhero gag of the week features The Inexplicable Interrobang, a character I'm hoping will spawn a lucrative movie franchise for Bizarro Studios.
Inty's costume was pretty much in place in my initial sketch, but the gag felt a little weak. I eventually hit on the job fair idea, which gave me an opportunity to draw a few more imagined crimefighters.
In case you're curious, an interrobang is a punctuation mark combining a question mark and an exclamation point. I thought it was a fitting name for this oddball character.
For Switcheroo Saturday, we presented a sympathetic portrayal of the much-maligned monster under the bed.
And that wraps up another week in Bizarro comics. Thanks again to Glenn S, and other readers who've suggested pipe pics for the blog. I can't guarantee that I'll use every one that comes in, but I appreciate seeing your discoveries.
Don't forget to visit Dan Piraro's blog, where he has more to say about these gags, and whatever else is on his mind this week. His weekly post also features his newest Sunday Bizarro page, which is always a wonder of comic art.
Bonus Track
"Little Snack Bar" composed by Berto Pisano from the film Interrabang (1969)
Pisano (1928 - 2002) was an Italian composer, conductor, arranger and jazz musician. The Interrabang soundtrack is the only work of his that was familiar to me. Friday's superhero reminded me that I have the CD in my collection. I hadn't heard it in a long while, and on this listening, "Little Snack Bar" was my favorite selection.
Last weekend, the climate gods gifted us with eight inches of snow over a twenty-four hour period. We did three smaller shoveling sessions rather than wait for the huge job when the storm ended. Other parts of the northeast were hit harder, and so we were grateful to have had a manageable cleanup. After an hour's workout in sub-freezing temperatures, that first cup of coffee in a warm kitchen tasted mighty fine.
Of course, we wouldn't let a little snow interfere with our production of comics, or stop us from finding a pipe pic to share with you.
One of my recent posts included an old print ad for Pabst Blue Ribbon beer featuring the artist James Montgomery Flagg. It was one of a series of PBR ads carrying endorsements from artists, authors, actors, and sports figures, including this image of character actor and big galoot William Bendix, posing with a beer, a sandwich, and several pipes.
Bendix (1906 - 1964) was best known for the 1940s radio sitcom The Life of Riley, which was adapted as a television series in the 1950s. Chester Riley was an early example of TV's bumbling father figures. His catchphrase, "What a revoltin' development this is!" entered the popular lexicon.
Although Bendix is mostly remembered for the comedic Riley, he was also an accomplished dramatic actor.
He played a gangster's sadistic henchman in the 1942 film noir, The Glass Key. In one scene, Bendix's character administers an extended, brutal beating to the protagonist played by Alan Ladd that's still difficult to watch eighty years later. Supposedly, during the filming, Bendix accidentally landed a punch and knocked Ladd unconscious.
One of my paintings for a 2008 art show was based on that scene, and was also used for the exhibit poster.
If you have an opportunity to see The Glass Key, I recommend checking it out, although you might close your eyes during the scene described above.
I don't think there's anything in our latest comics that might make you squeamish, but let's take a look to be sure.
These two finally realized that they could profit by working together. BB blows down the straw and stick houses, and the practical foreman builds a brick structure.
The Infinite Monkey Theorem, in comic form. The probability isn't zero, but it's close enough.
The passenger was doing research for his upcoming book, The Stock Market for Dummies.
Some forms of voodoo cause confusion rather than pain.
My limited familiarity with opera comes almost entirely from Warner Brothers cartoons. Being of Italian heritage, I really ought to know and appreciate more about this art form. For the most part, I enjoyed the few operas I've attended, although I must admit that during The Barber of Seville, I was waiting for Bugs Bunny to shave Elmer Fudd's beard using a tiny lawnmower.
In decades past, most people had at least a passing familiarity with operatic plots and music, which is why they were regularly referenced in popular entertainment like animated cartoons, and even TV commercials.
I knew that some readers might not get a gag based on an opera, but figured this was accessible enough, with its pun on a title most people have at least heard mentioned. Plus, the opera is about a troupe of clowns, and I rarely miss an opportunity to draw a clown comic.
I liked this one enough to schedule it for a Friday, which is where I normally place the strongest gag of the week.
Although I'm happy with the panel, I somehow managed to leave the caption box off the strip version, leaving a joke with no punchline.
I was unaware of this error until a reader pointed it out online, for which I am grateful, although my embarrassment is at least equal to my gratitude. Here's the corrected strip.
My apologies to all readers who saw the strip and were left scratching their heads. It wasn't you, it was me!
Saturday's caption refers to the nonspeaking character, and is an example of what's called an unpaired word. These are words which ought to exist as the opposite of a familiar word, such as "whelmed" as an antonym of "overwhelmed."
That's the latest batch of drollery from Bizarro Studios North. Thanks for dropping by. As always, your comments are welcomed. Be sure to visit Dan Piraro's blog to see what he has to say about these gags, and to read his always-amazing Sunday Bizarro comic.
Also, if you'd like to be notified when I publish a new blog post, you can subscribe to my email newsletter, which also includes an exclusive sneak preview of an upcoming gag.
Bonus Track
Despite my lack of operatic expertise, I listen to quite a bit of music from Italy. I love many Italian film score composers (Ennio Morricone, Piero Piccioni, Nino Rota, Bruno Nicolai, Piero Umiliani, and others), as well as singers such as Paolo Conte, Vinicio Capossela, and Carmen Consoli.
Then... there's Giannetto.
I first saw this wacky 1963 short years ago on a compilation of Scopitone films. The title translates as "I Like Celentano," and refers to Adriano Celentano an Italian singer, songwriter, musician, comedic actor, and filmmaker, who is said to have introduced Italy to rock and roll. That's a photo of Celentano behind the desk.
I'm not able to translate the lyrics precisely, but Giannetto (whose name in English would be something like "Little Johnny") complains about how school bores him, and that he doesn't want to study, he only wants to sing.
Everything about this little film is weird and wonderful: the stage, the kid's confidently hammy performance, and that pure 60s choreography. It never fails to bring a smile to my face. Scans of some of his record covers are out there on the web, and they're equally entertaining.
As the days of weirdness and distancing blur together, we're trying to maintain our sanity by sticking to a regular schedule. That includes faithfully composing a weekly blog post review of the latest Bizarro cartoons. Here's a look back at the week of July 6.
Outside the office, he's pleasant enough.
A few friends mentioned that the off-duty Reaper dressed like yours truly. I'll concede a resemblance from the neck up, but I haven't worn aloha shirts in many years. Still, that one looks comfy.
We can't see beneath the bar, but if he's wearing a pair of Chuck Taylors, maybe I was in fact drawing myself.
Nothing a little fabric softener won't fix.
I thought it would be quick and easy to draw a gag featuring two ghosts, and while it didn't take as long as some more elaborate panels, I spent a fair amount of time on the burlap texture and shading.
Readers, do you remember baseball?
When I was a youngster, I was forced to join Little League. One team (not mine) developed a chatter method that was eventually banned. In place of the usual cries of "Hey, batter batter," the entire team counted down from five, and then simultaneously yelled, "Swing!" It was surprisingly effective, and started many fights among players, parents, and coaches. That's some fine character building right there, my friends.
Only one of them is wearing the electronic collar.
This is a pre-pandemic drawing of a typical corporate Help Desk. Overheated battery packs are a hazard of the profession.
If you found this image disturbing, just imagine drawing it. I had to take frequent breaks, but it's my duty to deliver the comics for you, dear Jazz Pickles.
I've done quite a few gags involving mall information kiosks, and this one may be my favorite. In recent months, however, we all may feel like we're stranded in the Kierkegaard Galleria.
We at Bizarro Studios hope that our daily comic provides a momentary distraction from troubling realities, and occasionally lets us laugh at them together, even while isolated.
Don't forget to pop on over to Dan Piraro's blog, where he shares his latest Sunday Bizarro page, and offers commentary on these gags, along with other opinions and insights. His thoughts are always worth reading.
Bonus Track
Ennio Morricone Marcia degli Accattoni (March of the Beggars) from Giu' la Testa (aka Duck, You Sucker)
On Monday, July 6, Ennio Morricone died in Rome at age 91. Morricone was one of my all-time favorite composers, as I've mentioned in this blog a few times.
While working on comics this week, I've been revisiting the Morricone recordings in my music collection, and have been filled with joy while marveling at his many works of genius.
Instrumentalist/composer John Zorn wrote a moving tribute to Morricone in the New York Times earlier this week.
The title of today's post, Magic and Ecstasy, was taken from another great Morricone composition.
Thanks for stopping by. Keep yourselves and your families safe and healthy.
Welcome to the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North.
Summer is flying by, and it already feels like back-to-school season, since we work on our cartoons at least four weeks in advance of publication. It's almost time to come up with some Halloween gags.
I'd been thinking about the everything bagel as the basis for a gag, and toyed with variations such as anything bagel, everywhere bagel, etc. The idea of an "everyman" bagel inspired a funny/disturbing image, and presented the opportunity for gentle social commentary.
By the way, "Some Sports Team" shirts are available from Dan Piraro's Bizarro Shop. Dan created the shirt in a previous Bizarro gag, and it seemed to fit today's character perfectly.
They all had motive, and Pinocchio seemed most likely to rat out his co-conspirators. Now, I'm wondering if any other fictional characters had unpleasant encounters with whales. There must be a few more.
Sharp-eyed readers who've spent any time in old New York delis might recognize my little tribute to the classic "Anthora" paper coffee cup.
This is yet another gag that resulted from an idea that initially fizzled out. It began as a discussion between two people at some sort of rally, with one character saying "I feel pretty strongly about the cause. Somewhere between a t-shirt and a tattoo." That dialog had promise, but we couldn't think of anything the character could wear that fell between those two things, so we had a line of text and no illustration.After shelving it for a while, we came up with the marker tattoo, for someone who's squeamish around needles (or permanence).
The word "curated" is in danger of overuse these days. It's a safe bet you probably encountered it recently, when something less lofty (edited, compiled, selected, haphazardly thrown together) would have been just fine. The child in today's cartoon remains unimpressed.
Like it or not, the gig economy is gaining ground over traditional jobs with needless corporate expenses like health benefits for workers. Our enterprising protagonist tried working as an Uber driver for a while, but nobody would get into the vehicle once they recognized him. Arriving in a hearse was probably a poor choice, too.
Saturday's gag is based on an expression my wife and I often use while walking our neighbor's dog. When the pup encounters one of her canine pals, we give them both treats, and have always referred to it as "breaking biscuits."
Hey, when you draw a cartoon every day, you're constantly on the lookout for material.
As I do each week, I heartily recommend that you mosey over to Dan Piraro's blog for his perspective on the week's cartoons, and check out what he's created for the Sunday Bizarro page.
This Week's Bonus Tracks
Petrochemical Heaven, 2007
Acrylic on Masonite, 12" x 12" (Private Collection)
Several years ago, I curated cobbled together a virtual mixtapeof music from my record collection for Inkstuds, a radio show based in Vancouver, BC. After the show was broadcast, I posted info and commentary on the records we featured, because info and commentary is what we do here on the ol' WaynoBlog.
