In Space, No One Can Hear You Yelp

Last week, I mentioned that I'd be spending the day at the fifth annual Music for MS Festival just north of Pittsburgh. I'm happy to report that the weather cooperated, and it turned out to be a lovely day spent in the company of generous people united to help fund research to end multiple sclerosis.

My band performed early in the day, with no musical mishaps. We auctioned off some prizes, sold t-shirts, enjoyed the food and drink, and later in the evening, we got to see two excellent New Orleans groups, Johnny Sketch and the Dirty Notes, and Water Seed. I even turned up as a photobomber on Water Seed's Instagram page (the blurry figure in straw hat).

A personal highlight of the day was meeting an aspiring cartoonist and young Jazz Pickle named Elliott. He brought along one of his sketchbooks, and drew this portrait.

Thanks are due to Elliott for making me look much cooler than I am in real life.

Now, let's review the week's gaggings. Click any image for an enlarged view.

There are multiple logical lapses depicted here, but it was intended to be an absurd image, and an excuse to do a dog poo joke. A zero-gravity dog poo joke, to be precise.

I wouldn't want to be the crew member who swabs the airlock.

This drawing of Humpty Dumpty was based on one of Sir John Tenniel's classic illustrations for Lewis Carroll's Through the Looking Glass. The dodo (inverted here as one of Bizarro's secret symbols), also drawn by Tenniel, appeared in Carroll's earlier work, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland.

I've no doubt that this scenario has played out in reality at least once.

Thursday's gag is just a silly camouflage joke. It always makes me chuckle to see someone wearing camo in a non-military setting. The young skater's flaming eyeball tattoo will turn up again in the next day's cartoon. The parlor was running a special this week.

Dan Piraro, Bizarro's CEO (Chief Eyeball Officer) recently pointed out that when I want to draw a ridiculous-looking character, I give them a handlebar mustache. After today's cartoon, I'll try to cut back on that practice, as I've now taken the handlebar about as far as possible.

I have no revelatory commentary to offer on today's gag, other than to say it's an instance where I came up with the caption first, and reverse-engineered the image.

Thanks for reading Bizarro, and for following these blog posts. Please surf over to Dan's blog for his thoughts on this week's cartoons, and his latest Sunday page.

Bonus Track of the Week

The finale from this year's Music for MS Festival. Enjoy.

Oceanic Forensics

Today's post goes out at the start of a long, hot, and enjoyable day away from the drawing board. My wife and I will be working the t-shirt tent at the fifth annual Music for MS Festival, in Pittsburgh's northern region. It's a great day devoted to raising money for a very worthy cause. I've designed the festival shirts every year, and this time around, my musical group will be part of the day's lineup. Wish me luck!

Now, on to the week's shenanigans.

A few readers thought this was a cartoon about Abe Lincoln. I based the drawing of Captain Ahab on Gregpry Peck's portrayal in the 1956 John Huston film version of Moby Dick. The confusion didn't upset me. I was just happy to get the word "blowhole" published on the comics page.

The day this comic was published, I regretted not drawing the character holding the Frisbee as a shaggy dog. As we've mentioned before, we create each daily Bizarro comic as a vertical panel, and then convert it to a horizontal layout for newspapers who run it in a regular comic-strip slot. 

When converting this one, I gave the dialog to the other foreground figure, to avoid drawing a ridiculously long tail on the word balloon.

Wednesday's Bizarro was partly inspired by my partner Dan Piraro's recent series of luchador paintings. You can see some of this amazing new work on the @DiegoPiraro Instagram page.

Those Terminator movies got it all wrong. As machines become more human-like, they'll develop self-awareness, and then self-interest, but before they can overthrow us, this will happen.

This is my favorite cartoon of the week. You can tell which one I think is the best, because we like to run the strongest gag on Friday. Still, it's impossible to predict what readers will respond to. We're often surprised to see which of the week's cartoons are shared and commented on the most.

Saturday's gag is for everyone who has siblings.

Thanks for reading Bizarro, and especially for taking the time to read the blog.

Be sure to check out Dan Piraro's take on the week's gags over at Bizarro.com, and view his latest Sunday comics masterpiece.

Bonus Track of the Week

Here's one of the tunes we'll perform at the festival today.

Accident Free

Week 32 of 2018 is wrapping up, and we've made it more than halfway through my first year at Bizarro Studios North with only a handful of deadline-induced anxiety attacks. Here's a look at the Safety Committee's motivational sign in our corporate lunchroom.

If we maintain our perfect safety record through December 31, Management will let us have a joint party with the staff of Zippy the Pinhead.

Sometimes, I like to imagine a world where being stunned is the worst thing anyone has to worry about.

Robocop forensic artists celebrate July 12, the date in 1960 when the Ohio Art Company introduced the Etch A Sketch, and revolutionized their jobs. Savvy automatons who invested in aluminum powder futures are eternally grateful to the toy's inventor, André Cassagnes. 

You never want to look silly or feel uncomfortable at an event, and this fellow is trying his best. In most situations, any adult male who shows up in long pants and sans baseball cap has raised the bar.

Once you get over the initial squeamishness, tending to a pet can be a rewarding experience rather than a chore. 

We couldn't fit it in the frame, but this character is also riding a unicycle.

If the National Contrarian Society were an actual organization, would its members deny its existence? Don't ask me, I'm not saying.

Apologies for the brevity of this post. I'm leaving in a few minutes to be fitted for a new pair of steel-toed boots and an upgraded hard hat. Cartooning is a dangerous job, but it keeps the economy rolling.

For more info on Bizarro Studios and its rich corporate culture, be sure to read the current News Release from our CEO (Chief Eyeball Officer) Dan Piraro. You'll also be rewarded with his latest Sunday page, which is always stunning.

This Week's Bonus Track

Lee Dorsey (with Jools Holland)
"Working in the Coal Mine"
From Walking to New Orleans, a 1985 UK TV movie

Product Placement

Welcome to the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North. 

Summer is flying by, and it already feels like back-to-school season, since we work on our cartoons at least four weeks in advance of publication. It's almost time to come up with some Halloween gags.

I'd been thinking about the everything bagel as the basis for a gag, and toyed  with variations such as anything bagel, everywhere bagel, etc. The idea of an "everyman" bagel inspired a funny/disturbing image, and presented the opportunity for gentle social commentary.

By the way, "Some Sports Team" shirts are available from Dan Piraro's Bizarro Shop. Dan created the shirt in a previous Bizarro gag, and it seemed to fit today's character perfectly.

They all had motive, and Pinocchio seemed most likely to rat out his co-conspirators. Now, I'm wondering if any other fictional characters had unpleasant encounters with whales. There must be a few more.

Sharp-eyed readers who've spent any time in old New York delis might recognize my little tribute to the classic "Anthora" paper coffee cup.

This is yet another gag that resulted from an idea that initially fizzled out. It began as a discussion between two people at some sort of rally, with one character saying "I feel pretty strongly about the cause. Somewhere between a t-shirt and a tattoo." That dialog had promise, but we couldn't think of anything the character could wear that fell between those two things, so we had a line of text and no illustration. After shelving it for a while, we came up with the marker tattoo, for someone who's squeamish around needles (or permanence).

The word "curated" is in danger of overuse these days. It's a safe bet you probably encountered it recently, when something less lofty (edited, compiled, selected, haphazardly thrown together) would have been just fine. The child in today's cartoon remains unimpressed.

Like it or not, the gig economy is gaining ground over traditional jobs with needless corporate expenses like health benefits for workers. Our enterprising protagonist tried working as an Uber driver for a while, but nobody would get into the vehicle once they recognized him. Arriving in a hearse was probably a poor choice, too.

Saturday's gag is based on an expression my wife and I often use while walking our neighbor's dog. When the pup encounters one of her canine pals, we give them both treats, and have always referred to it as "breaking biscuits."

Hey, when you draw a cartoon every day, you're constantly on the lookout for material.

As I do each week, I heartily recommend that you mosey over to Dan Piraro's blog for his perspective on the week's cartoons, and check out what he's created for the Sunday Bizarro page. 

This Week's Bonus Tracks

Petrochemical Heaven, 2007
Acrylic on Masonite, 12" x 12"
(Private Collection)

Several years ago, I curated cobbled together a virtual mixtape of music from my record collection for Inkstuds, a radio show based in Vancouver, BC.

After the show was broadcast, I posted info and commentary on the records we featured, because info and commentary is what we do here on the ol' WaynoBlog.

Enjoy!

Escape Hatch

Before we review the week's cartoons, here's an amazing piece of Bizarro fan art created by Stella, a ten year old Jazz Pickle from Seattle. 

Stella included four Secret Symbols in her epic drawing, along with my fire, my flag, my cow, my Saturn V parachute, and my hot pink grill.

I categorically deny meeting Mary Poppins atop a volcano, or anywhere else, for that matter.

A tip of the old porkpie to Stella for this delightful art, which will be forever preserved in the Bizarro archives.

This is pretty much the way I remember what passed for career counseling at my high school. Several readers pointed out that the answer to the algebra problem on the board is 34. I realized after publication that I should've created an equation whose answer is 42. Next time.

My knowledge of Lorelei, the siren who lured sailors to their deaths in German folklore, was superficial at best. While researching this panel, I learned that the character was named after a giant rock in the Rhine River. I also learned that she had blonde hair, but we play fast and loose with literary references here at Bizarro Studios North.

Frogs have been getting away with this bogus story for centuries. This odd-looking fellow is actually one of the more pleasing transformations. Let that be a warning to anyone tempted to smooch an amphibian.

I'm not sure if this actually qualifies as a pun, but it's an odd and interesting bit of wordplay that made us laugh. Also, it utilizes the missing letter e from last Tuesday's cartoon.
  

Certain vehicles seem to require their owners to cover every available surface with bumper stickers and decals. I believe this gag contains the highest number of secret symbols I've crammed into a panel so far. I sincerely hope I counted correctly.
 
Drawing the meta-stickers was a lot of fun, and the strip layout gave me space to add a few more.

Here's an enlarged detail for a closer look.

Saturday's gag is based on my own experience as a home buyer. The previous owner of our house didn't use tools either, but did leave a drawing or two on the walls.

As always, I thank you for reading the comic and commenting, and bestow extra credit and a virtual gold star upon you for reading this post.

Be sure to check Dan Piraro's weekly blog for his look back at the week's cartoons, and to see what he's created for the Sunday Bizarro page.

This Week's Bonus Track

In honor of Stella's spectacular fan art, here's The Kirby Stone Four with an oddball vocal version of Elmer Bernstein's "Great Escape March."

And, yes, I own a copy of this record.

No Commercial Potential

Portions of this dispatch from Bizarro Studios North are longer than usual, which is fitting since the first gag of the week sports a lengthy caption.

We kicked things off with a literary reference, updating Franz Kafka's The Metamorphosis for the 21st century.

I was introduced to Kafka by the writings of another twisted genius, Frank Zappa. We're Only In It for the Money, the 1968 album by Zappa's band The Mothers of Invention, was the second LP I bought with my own money. (The first was the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, whose cover is brutally parodied by Money.)

The lyrics and credits panel inside Money's gatefold sleeve included instructions for listening to the album's final track, a harsh piece of musique concrete entitled "The Chrome Plated Megaphone of Destiny." The first instruction was to read Kafka's dystopian short story In The Penal Colony. The story is grotesque and disturbing. In other words, perfect for a disaffected young smart aleck. 

That "assignment" from my new musical hero led me to check out some of Kafka's other works, including his best-known piece, The Metamorphosis. The first line of the story in the translation I read is:

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect.

That sentence remained lodged in my cranial filing cabinet for all these years, and finally slipped out in the form of a cartoon.

Tuesday's aquatic gag resulted from an honest typo by Bizarro CEO Dan Piraro. He mentioned it to me, and suggested I ponder the phrase to see if it suggested an image that would work as a cartoon. 

About a month later, I made this rough sketch, which prompted Dan to suggest adding a "school" field trip entering the museum. That was the perfect little detail it needed.

Converting the panel to a horizontal strip layout required some planning, as seen in this sketchbook spread, but it all worked out satisfactorily.

 

That missing letter "e" still bothers me, but perhaps it'll turn up at some point, like an unmatched sock.

If not for email archives, I'd never have remembered how we arrived at this gag. Dan and I frequently bounce ideas back and forth, sometimes for weeks or even months. Our comedic sensibilities are so similar, we're not always sure who planted the kernel for a particular cartoon. Some people have even suggested that we're beginning to look alike.
 

Many corporations are downsizing, and Calendar Talent Enterprises is no exception. Rumors abound that Saint Patrick will be doubling as the outgoing Old Year.

This cartoon garnered an ego-boosting tweet from Tony Norman, a columnist and the Book Review Editor at the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.

Tony is a thoughtful (and thought-provoking) writer, as well as a knowledgeable comics reader, who has moderated many panel discussions with comics creators, although the comment above will undoubtedly damage his reputation.

We resisted the urge to show the Dean with a dummy, emphasizing the fact that he's always practicing his craft.

This gag might be lost on some readers, since hiding from photographers while being arrested is a thing of the past in our current post-shame culture.

I'm really not as pessimistic as this cartoon might imply. Not every day, anyway.

For further insight into our creative collaborations, please visit Dan Piraro's Bizarro blog, where you can also order groovy swag from the Bizarro Shop, and admire Dan's latest magnificent Sunday page.

This Week's Bonus Track

"The Chrome Plated Megaphone of Destiny" might be too much for the average reader/listener, so here's a more accessible cut, which I hope will serve as a gateway drug.



Artistic Addendum

Speaking of heroes, I was initially drawn to the Money LP by this ad, which ran in a few Marvel comic books.

It was designed by Cal Schenkel, who was Zappa's main visual collaborator for many years. Cal was responsible for creating dozens of amazing album covers as illustrator, designer, and photographer. He currently sells art through his website, Galerie Ralf. His prices are reasonable, and I recommend checking out the Galerie and ordering a giclée print or hand-painted original.

A few years ago I had the opportunity to help plan and stage an exhibit of Cal's work, which was a terrific honor. He was truly kind and gracious, and signed a couple hundred LPs for fans that evening.

Standing beside a master

Pity the Fool

Greetings once again from Bizarro Studios North, in Hollywood Gardens, USA. If you're reading this, congratulations on surviving another Friday the 13th. 

Now, let's see what sort of nonsense we put on the funny pages this past week.

We started the week with a typical domestic scene involving the monstrous couple next door, and a fine example of passive-aggressive behavior.

This earlier version, sketched about a year ago, was nothing more than a riff on the monster's flat head. It wasn't much of a gag, and ran counter to his well-known fear of fire. Showing these characters having a mundane disagreement, as all couples sometimes do, had more appeal, so we set it aside to revisit later. I did a second version (now lost) with the Bride saying, "I’m glad you’re making progress in your ‘fear of fire’ workshop, but I’m trying to sleep." That was a little better, but after further consideration, we finally developed the version that ran this week.

This approach might possibly reduce the sting of an unpleasant verdict. If the defendant still hasn't cheered up, the judge could always inhale some helium before delivering the sentence.

Wednesday's comic is not based specifically on any individual cabinet member who recently resigned in disgrace because of multiple scandals, and whose policies are just as odious as his unethical, self-serving behavior. It could apply to any number of public figures.

Last week, Bizarro referenced Oscar Wilde, and now we tweak Robert Louis Stevenson. This isn't my first Dr. Jekyll gag. The author[[ appeared in this 2017 WaynoVision comic:

I met the actual Mister T at the 1993 San Diego Comic-Con, where he was promoting his comic book, Mr. T and the T-Force. He was smaller than I expected, and he really did keep his brow furrowed non-stop.

L-R: Roy Tompkins, Laurence Tureaud, Wayno

It's taken 25 years, but I finally drew him in a cartoon.

This silly gag was inspired by the familiar image of an impending shootout viewed from a weird perspective.

Tiny Charles Bronson, Once Upon a Time in the West (1968)

Dan and I both enjoy cowboy scenes, though he's much better at drawing horses. I grew up during the heyday of TV westerns, and before getting into the cartooning game, briefly considered a career as a cowpoke.

Unfortunately, I was not a very intimidating gunslinger, so I abandoned that dream.

Old technology meets new in Saturday's cartoon. It's entirely possible that hipster teapots may start wearing antique cozies any day now.

For further analysis of the week's cartoons, visit Dan Piraro's blog, and don't forget to check out his latest Sunday page.

Musical Endurance Test of the Week

My hat's off to anybody who can make it through this 1984 rap by Mr. T.