Ooze and Ahhs

On Thursday of this week, we paused at the drawing board to raise a cup of coffee, celebrating the 103rd birthday of the patron saint of Bizarro Studios North: the great Virgil Franklin Partch. 

This 1960 photo of VIP (as he often signed his work) watches over us every day as we labor in  the cartoon trenches.

Now, let's review our recent attempts at graphical humor.

The old novelty X-ray Specs didn't actually enable the user to peer at anyone's bones, but our official Bizarro brand Keyhole Cheaters make no false claims. They merely promise to make everything seem just a little naughty.

This cartoon made some readers cringe, but think of the poor massage therapist who almost passed out after moving the customer's privacy towel.

As we approach Halloween, here's a look into the basement at Castle Frankenstein, where Viktor Junior shows some ingenuity while tending to his pets.

We followed up on Thursday with a seasonal variant on the familiar image of neighbors chatting over the backyard fence.

If there truly were a heavenly afterlife, most of us would have to employ this strategy in order to gain entrance.

One must admire a professional who seeks innovative ways to improve their job-related skills.

Thanks for sticking with us for another week of foolishness. Do yourself a favor and surf over to my partner Dan Piraro's blog, where you can see what he has to say about this batch of comics, and shares his latest widescreen Bizarro Sunday page.

Bonus Track

Unlike those cheap toys, X-Ray Spex the band always delivered the goods.

Seance Fiction

Happy Saturday, Jazz Pickles. We're buzzing with activity here at Bizarro Studios North as we plan our Halloween costumes and begin the countdown till local ghouls come knocking on the door.

Our tradition for the holiday is to order a delivery from a favorite pizza shop and watch Something Wicked This Way Comes, with pauses to hand out goodies. If you haven't seen this 1983 movie, we highly recommend it. It was co-written by Ray Bradbury (and adapted from his novel) and boasts an outstanding cast, including Jason Robards, Jonathan Pryce, Diane Ladd, Royal Dano, and Pam Grier. It's an effectively creepy film, that was probably too scary for kids when released.

How do you celebrate? Reply in the comments section.

Now, let's look back at this week's sometimes-creepy cartoons.

To accommodate all of the restless souls floating around, some psychics are now taking sign-ups for variety shows.

A sharp-eyed reader pointed out that we used the British spelling of the word "specter." I must have been feeling fancy the day I drew this one.

While researching Tuesday's panel, I discovered that the familiar Three Musketeers bar was given its name because the original 1932 package included three small bars: one each of chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry flavor. I'd have called it a Neapolitan.

Understanding this gag requires a general familiarity with the Alexandre Dumas novel, which is no stretch for Bizarro's highly literate readership.

Be sure to pick up a tube of Super K2 adhesive for all of your vandalism needs.

True fact: In 2008, a Finnish tourist was fined $17,000 for chipping an earlobe off one of the iconic Easter Island statues, and was banned from returning for three years.

A footnote on an adjacent stone tablet reads, "The earlier explorer didn't need a magnifying glass."

When life gives you leeches...

Mea Maxima Culpa
For each daily Bizarro gag, I create four separate files to upload to the syndicate for distribution: I do the panel and strip layouts for both full color and black & white printing.

Thanks to a reader from Houston who posted on Facebook, I was made aware of an error in Friday's black & white strip as it appeared in the Houston Chronicle.

Apparently, when I removed the color layer to make the grayscale file, I neglected to replace the red lettering on the sign with solid black lettering.
This is how it should have appeared:

I offer sincere apologies to all readers in Houston, and anyone else whose paper runs the black & white strip. I realize that sometimes a gag may cause confusion, but for those who were scratching their heads on Friday because they didn't get the joke, it wasn't your fault.

My thanks go out to Mark Rogerson of Houston for bringing this to my attention. Going forward, before I send off the weekly files, I'll stop to do one more "idiot check."

The lettering may have turned white, but my face is still red.

Now, back to the final gag for the week.

Saturday's panel predicts a trend in rooftop bar design. 

This is my first pirate-themed cartoon that doesn't actually depict a pirate.

Print readers whose papers run the strip version of Bizarro had to rotate the page by 90 degrees, but through the miracle of the internet, you can view it normally here. 

This is the second time since I took over the dailies that I've done a sideways strip. The other one appeared during my first month on the job.

Mad Magazine's legendary fold-in artist, Al Jaffee, did a vertical comic strip called Tall Tales, which ran from 1957 to 1962. Mister Jaffee, who created more than 400 fold-ins, is still with us (and still drawing!) at age 98.

Don't forget to check out Dan Piraro's blog, and see what he has to say about this week's gags, and to marvel at his latest Bizarro Sunday page.

Oh, and let us know about your Halloween traditions in the comments section.

Bonus Track

Ronnie Cook & the Gaylords: The Goo Goo Muck



This is one of my all-time favorite Halloween tunes, and it was a staple here in Pittsburgh, thanks to our wildest DJ, Mad Mike Metro. 

Mad Mike introduced us to tons of obscure and crazy sounds, up until his passing on Halloween, 2000.

Tasty Newsprint

A few days ago, I ventured outside of Bizarro Studios North and traveled to nearby Greensburg, PA, to see the Westmoreland Museum's current exhibit, Era of Cool: The Art of John Van Hammersveld.

Van Hammersveld has been working as a designer, illustrator, art director, typographer, and muralist for nearly 60 years, and it's likely that you have an example of his work somewhere in your home. In addition to designing the iconic movie poster for The Endless Summer in 1964, and many early psychedelic gig posters, he's responsible for over 300 LP covers, including Magical Mystery Tour and Exile on Main Street.

The Pittsburgh Society of Illustrators arranged for a group of members to attend an artist's reception at the museum, where we also saw a short documentary on JVH, Crazy World Ain't It.

JVH (in hat) with members of the Pittsburgh Society of Illustrators
Photo: Nancy Flury Carlson

Van Hammersveld graciously autographed posters, prints, and record covers, including my copy of a 1970 album by the novelty duo, The Pipkins.

He was surprised to see this, and apparently doesn't have a copy in his collection, because he snapped a couple photos for himself. Before heading to the event, I listened to the record, which I hadn't in over a decade. That should hold me for at least the next ten years. Great cover art, though.

Now, let's see what foolishness we unleashed on an unsuspecting world over the past week.

Of course, we all know that comics are the equal of classic literature, right?

I referred to a scan of a comics page dated February 6, 1970 to lend authenticity to the drawing.

I had a dream recently about buying something at a store where the cashier and counter were eight feet above floor level, and I had to climb a ladder to complete the transaction. Upon waking, I thought of the caption, but realized that such a scene would be tricky to draw (particularly for the strip layout), so I came up with this gag instead.

This practitioner decided on home schooling, since the college where he initially applied requires students to be current on their vaccinations. He apparently made the right choice, based on his stellar GPA.

The odd, reverse "L" shape of the panel art required a fair amount of shuffling to format the gag in its strip form, but it reads a little better in the end.

The three most important factors to consider when buying a home are location, location, and proximity to brains.

As we ease into October, and approach Halloween, expect several additional monstrous gags in this space. 

When hunting for treasure, you can't overlook any lead. This panel illustrates how well cats adapt to their human companions.

Coffee shops are prime spots to view all manner of live theater. Not long ago at a local cafe, I saw a piece of performance art that could have been titled Chest-Bumping Résumés. I'd like to thank the cast for helping me write Saturday's gag.

For even more sparkling comics commentary, check out Dan Piraro's blog, where he shares his thoughts on the latest batch, and unveils his latest widescreen Bizarro Sunday page.

Bonus Track

I cannot in good conscience share a video of The Pipkins, for fear of triggering a fatal earworm in one of our valued readers. Instead, here's a perky little ode to coffee, arranged by guitar great Billy Mure.

Mure was a prolific composer, arranger, and session musician, who released a series of wild instrumental albums in the late 1950s: Super-Sonic Guitars in Hi-Fi, Supersonic Guitars, Supersonics in Flight, and Supersonic Guitars Volume II.

Billy Mure, in an undated photo, probably from the 1950s

I've owned this record for years, but just noticed that it was produced and co-written by Sascha Burland, who's another fascinating character. Burland made a living writing jingles for commercials, but he loved jazz music. Shortly after the Chipmunks became popular, Burland formed a rival recording act called the Nutty Squirrels. Burland's Squirrels records also featured double-speed vocals, but instead of covering pop hits, they did vocal versions of Thelonious Monk and Charlie Parker tunes. They'll probably appear on this blog at some point.

Surrealistic Pizza; or, The Persistence of Anchovy

This weekend, I have an interesting gig at the Carnegie Science Center here in Pittsburgh. On Saturday and Sunday morning, I'll be hosting and introducing a program of classic Warner Brothers cartoons at the Center's Rangos Giant Cinema. I'm expecting a good crowd of kids, accompanied by nostalgic parents wearing pajamas and eating sugary cereal.

Now, let's review the week's (inanimate) Bizarro cartoons.

A reader commented on Facebook that they counted ten, not nine, Secret Symbols in this gag. If there are in fact ten, that last one isn't even visible to the cartoonist.

For the strip layout, I moved the Crown of Power from the plainclothes detective's coffee cup to the uniformed officer's shoulder. If you're counting symbols that are out of frame, I suppose that does make ten.

We almost captioned this one "Sauvignon Bland," but decided that "Sauvignon Blah" also delivers the gag, while sounding funnier.

Wednesday's panel documents a pivotal moment in sports marketing history.

It's no secret that Bizarro CEO Dan Piraro and I are both fans of surrealist art, especially the flamboyant trickster Salvador Dali. Bizarro is often described as surreal, and Dan's paintings certainly fit that description.

Dali's best-known work is the 1931 painting, The Persistence of Memory, with its famous melting clocks. I imagined that if Dali had ever worked at a pizza shop, he'd approach the job like no one else.

This one was fun to write and to draw, although it's based on a deadly serious and pervasive problem, which is not limited to spelling and grammar.

I create the strips in the later stages of my weekly process, which can be a lot like solving a puzzle. Configuring this one for the strip layout was more challenging than I'd expected. The two characters fill the vertical panel nicely, but if they had simply been reduced to the height of the strip, the signs and their expressions would have been too tiny to read. However, a little shuffling and cropping did the trick.

We wrapped up the week with another look at feline crime and punishment. I live with two cats, and they're beloved family members, but I also realize that they're fully capable of heartless murder. Which reminds me, I'd better go and feed them before they decide to go for my liver.

Don't forget to check out Dan Piraro's blog, where he offers his analysis of this week's drollery, along with his latest widescreen Sunday page. See you next Saturday.

Bonus Track

Salvador Dalí and his works are referenced in this suitably weird track from Todd Rundgren's 1973 LP, A Wizard, a True Star.





I've never compiled one of those "Desert Island Discs" lists, but if I did, there's a good chance that A Wizard, a True Star would make the cut.

We'll Meat Again

It's the last Saturday of summer, so I hope you all get a chance to enjoy some fresh air and sunshine today. Right after we review the week's cartoons, of course.

Monday presented a typical morning meeting at a local ad agency, where the new hire is being introduced to the team.

As we've often said, we try to limit our use of puns to those we think are surprising. Here, we play on the use of the word "creative" as a name for someone who works in a creative field. I liked the fact that the reader might not notice the substitution, and at first would read it as "creature."

Some of us are lulled to sleep by the hum of white noise, while others prefer a series of random bangs and thumps, or this. 

Here's what happens when you become involved with someone from the wrong side of the staff.

This gag is an example of our preference for drawing inanimate objects realistically. I believe that a gag like this is more effective when the objects aren't wacky, anthropomorphic cartoon characters.

Yet another musical genre is featured in Thursday's panel. Although my modest but odd recollection encompasses a wide range of styles, I don't think there are any barbershop quartet albums on the shelves.

UPDATE: This cartoon confused quite a few readers. The idea was that the classified ad  said "butchershop" instead of "barbershop." The disappointed applicant with the paper hat, apron, and meat cleaver was intended to suggest the word "butcher," and explain the source of his misunderstanding. As I said, that was the idea, but for a lot of readers, it simply didn’t work. 

I'm thinking that the word "mistake" might have been a better choice than "typo."

I won't include this one in any comics award submissions for 2019. 

This one wasn't inspired by something naughty, honest. One evening while I was reading a book, one of our cats sat beside me and began bumping my hand with his head, in effect using me as a petting device. It happens regularly, but this particular time I wondered if there might be a market for simulated human hands to provide comfort to domestic animals.

I imagined an establishment where a dog or cat might buy such a toy, and this gag is the result.

After it left the drawing board, I tweaked the art a bit.

This intermediate file shows the inked original superimposed on the panel layout, before I added the UFO in the upper left. There's also a subtle change to a product displayed in the lower right corner. As a private joke between Dan Piraro and myself (and now, readers of this blog) the original drawing showed a packaged tube of "K2 Jelly," which I later changed to a nondescript box marked "O2."

Incidentally, the "535" below the signature isn't the secret symbol count, but a sequence number for the art. This gag is the 535th I've drawn since starting as the daily Bizarro cartoonist in January 2018. I'm looking forward to producing many more in the coming years.

The courtroom is a dependable source of comic material. Today we illustrate that old criminal rule never to leave behind your fingerprint, an accomplice, or especially your marotte.

If you haven't had enough commentary on these cartoons, wander on over to Dan Piraro's blog, and while you're there, check out his latest widescreen Sunday Bizarro page.

Bonus Track

I had planned to showcase "Creature From the Black Lagoon," as recorded by Dave Edmunds, but while searching for it, I found this killer demo version by Billy Bremner. Mr. Bremner wrote the song and played guitar on the Edmunds record.
 

Preferred Seating

Today, we wrap up a full week of Bizarro without any cat or dog gags. I must have been off my game the week I drew these, but fear not, we've got a canine comic lined up for next week.

Here's the uncharacteristically pet-free batch for your enjoyment.

Chef's table experiences usually include a verbal introduction for each course, but that's not the case at this particular bistro. The owners pride themselves on their fine selection of celebrity chefs treading water in a giant aquarium.
 

Quite a few historically-informed readers caught this panel's reference to plenary indulgences, those handy Get Out of Hell Free cards that the Catholic church used to sell to wealthy believers. This practice bugged Martin Luther, who expressed his objections in his famous Ninety-Five Theses in 1517.

I updated the idea by making a verbal comparison to the modern idea of carbon offset credits, although this type of purchased forgiveness is used to support projects intended to reduce greenhouse gases. My understanding of the concept and process is admittedly incomplete, but I think that carbon offsets are a more legitimate product, although they also allow people with more money to get away with certain "sins."

Plenary indulgences were reintroduced by the church in 2009. They're no longer for sale, but you can obtain one by making a "charitable contribution," combined with other "acts." That's more equitable, right?

Oh, and there's a limit of "one plenary indulgence per sinner per day."

This gag was the result of dogged persistence on the cartoonist's part. It originally had different text, which made no reference to television, and wasn't very funny. I liked the drawing, though, and after hanging it near my drawing table for a week or so, I began to wonder what TV shows ghosts might enjoy. My favorite imagined program is "Normal Things."

Rearranging this panel for the strip layout wasn't particulalrly difficult, but I found this composition to be visually pleasing.

Like most innovations, the "good cop, bad cop" interrogation technique resulted from trial and error. Thursday's cartoon commemorates a pivotal moment in the police biz.

Friday's cartoon imagines a graphical placebo effect. Sadly, this is probably an actual "benefit" in some health plans.

For those who like to count the Bizarro Secret Symbols, I welcome feedback on today's, as I was particularly proud of one of them. Since I'm the one who drew it, I spot it right away, but I'm curious to see if it was challenging to the reader.

We're not in the editorial cartoon business at Bizarro Studios, but as observers of the world around us, we occasionally base a comic on behavior in a way that some might see as political commentary. It's difficult to make a case that citizens with greater wealth are treated the same as those with less. Preferential boarding exists beyond the airline gates.

Thanks, as always, for your comments, tips, and social media shares. Be sure to visit Dan Piraro's blog, where he offers his own comment on my recent work, and shares his latest Sunday Bizarro page.

Bonus Track

We featured vampires and ghosts in our comics this week. To add to the spookiness, we're listening to Michael Hurley performing his composition "Werewolf."



Hurley is a unique singer, guitarist, cartoonist, and painter, who often does wonderful cartoon art for his recordings. He's also a fellow Pennsylvanian, born in Bucks County, PA.