Spare Parts

Today's monstrous Bizarro comic is the result of a happy accident.

Bizarro CEO Dan Piraro created the art for this panel, but had to scrap it, because he'd somehow repeated a gag from earlier in the year. If you're keeping track of 365 cartoons every year, sooner or later one will be forgotten—or repeated.

The thought of this creation going unseen bothered me, so I got to work trying to come up with a new punchline so it could still be published. I wrote two versions, the one shown above, and one with the monster replying, "It's taken me forever to assemble my collection. I could never break it up." Dan opted for the briefer version, which is usually the way to go.

The process behind this particular comic illustrates a point that any cartoonist can verify for you: Occasionally, a gag will come to mind fully-formed, or nearly so, but, for the most part, writing comics is work, plain and simple. It requires skills which can be cultivated, such as developing an awareness of potential raw material, but the notion that creating cartoons (or any other art for that matter) is the result of some "gift" bestowed on a lucky few is off the mark. In some measure, that idea is a bit insulting to someone who works at any craft. 

Artists create good works because they do it over and over, always striving to improve, and trying to figure out what to keep and what to edit out.

I hadn't intended for this blog post to become a sermon on creativity! I just wanted to show that there are many paths from idea to finished product, and this one was a little different from my usual explanation.

Since this gag was only written by yours truly, there's no submission sketch to show. So, for your enjoyment, here's a snap of Dan Piraro celebrating the publication of today's comic.

Working with Mister Piraro is a wildly enjoyable part of my weekly routine, and I'm happy to share all of our earlier collaborations in this blog's archive. There's another dandy one coming your way in less than a week.

Happy Devil's Night. I found my favorite costume in the attic, and can't wait to break it out for Halloween.

Yes, that's me as a young'un, masquerading as a cephalopod

Music in Miniature

Here's a Bizarro cartoon that's simple and to the point.

The final art by Dan Piraro closely follows my sketch, although my version shows an electric guitar, which is just absurd, since there's no amplifier visible.

This gag was inspired by a young friend of mine named Otis, who helped me come up with a comic idea a couple of years ago.

One day this summer, I ran into Otis and his family in our neighborhood, where a terrific local band was playing. I mentioned to them that my recently-formed musical ensemble would be performing in September, and Otis's dad, Scott, asked about my involvement. I replied that I was the vocalist, adding, "I play a little harmonica." Otis fell to the sidewalk laughing, picturing a tiny instrument.

I do in fact own a Hohner "Little Lady" harmonica, but as you might imagine, it can be a choking hazard.

For live appearances, I play normal Hohner Marine Band harps, which cannot to my knowledge be accidentally swallowed.

Please feel free to enjoy our previous comic collaborations in the Bizarro archive.

Watch for a monstrous new gag coming up on Devils' Night (October 30).

Smell You Later

Today's Bizarro comic features a police officer working with a nosewitness.

Dogs and cats are excellent subjects for comic gags. We all tend to anthropomorphize our furry companions, so it's not a great leap for a reader to see them in familiar human situations, while exhibiting their canine (or feline) nature.

Dan Piraro's published comic is quite different from my submission sketch. The composition is improved, and so is the text.

"Turn around and bend over" is much funnier than "face the other way!" Try working both phrases into your conversation today, and see if I'm right.

As many readers my know, every Bizarro comic is composed twice for publication. Most papers carry the standard panel version, but some publish it in strip format. This involves shuffling things around, and often, Dan draws additional elements to fill the space. This one works particularly well in the widescreen format.

You've got to love the look of defiance on that chihuahua.

This weekend will be bookended by collaborative Bizarro comics, with a new one popping up on Monday, inspired by a young friend who's inadvertently helped me in the past.

As always, you're welcome to trudge through our previous comical conspiracies. There are now well over a hundred.

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Dan Piraro blogs about Bizarro every day. His post on this comic is quite amusing and also includes an older canine cartoon from his archives.

Not Half Bad

Hot on the heels of last week's cartoon spoofing the story of Noah, today's Bizarro also has a scriptural twist. Taking us from Genesis to Revelation, we present this  discounted demon.

The final art by Bizarro's creator, Dan Piraro, fleshes out the rough sketch I submitted, and shows what's beyond the borders of my panel.

 

I'd been trying to come up with something using "333" as a reference to the traditional "666" number as the mark of the beast for some time. I'd drawn several sketches that didn't quite cut the mustard, and finally thought of the caption Markdown of the Beast, which is kind of nifty, if I do say so myself.

Old Scratch is one of those characters a cartoonist can return to and almost always find a new twist.

Bizarro-wise, October is a busy month here at Wayno World Headquarters. We've got three more funnies coming before the month ends, so be sure to check your paper daily. And, of course, all of our earlier comical collaborations can be viewed in this blog's Bizarro Storage Bin.

Devilish Digression

Speaking of the Prince of Darkness, here's an interpretation I did back in 1997. This was long before I met Mister Piraro, but I think it bears a passing resemblance to him.

This image was created without the use of Photoshop or any other image-manipulation software. In the late 20th century, many cartoonists and illustrators used a variation of the ancient animation cel technique to produce color art for publication. The black & white line art image was shot with a gigantic photostat camera and printed on a sheet of clear acetate. A special type of vinyl paint was then applied to the back side of the acetate to fill in areas of color. There was often a second layer used as a background. In this case, I used a combination of paint and a scrap of wallpaper from a discarded sample book.

I had this piece, titled "Suave Devil," printed up as a postcard, and I'm sure there's a boxful of them somewhere in the studio here. if people still sent physical mail, I'd offer them at a sale price.

Poop Deck

Today's Bizarro is not only a clown gag, but also completely wordless—a bit of a one-two punch!

It's rare for this writer to produce a purely visual gag, so when it happens, it's particularly satisfying. I've managed to pull it off twice before. 

It will be interesting to see what sort of reaction this one gets. To my mind it's a rather gentle gag playing on the idea of stuffing a large number of passengers into a vehicle that couldn't possibly contain them all. Our would-be sailor seems to have come to the conclusion that a waist high boat is no less likely to hold two of every species on earth than the largest vessel that could be built by a small family using hand tools, but there's always the possibility of righteous blowback. We'll see.

Dan's finished layout is very similar to my submission sketch, though he's added some amusing little extras. 

My favorite of his additions is the very funny depiction of our man's extra-large "shoes," which are actually a pair of giant sandaled feet. This one was submitted as a photo snapped right from the sketchbook. I was away from the studio, and didn't want to wait to get back to tune it up and lay it out in a portrait-oriented panel.

Mister Piraro and I have more collaborative funnies lined up in the coming weeks, including, coincidentally, another with scriptural inspiration. 

All of our earlier joint efforts are available for viewing in this blog's Bizarro Archive.

Thanks for reading and commenting.

They're Coming to Get You, Barbara!

I recently worked on a somewhat different project for my hometown publication, Pittsburgh Magazine. I'm a regular contributor, and do a monthly spot for the PittGirl's Last Laugh column.

This time around, I was also able to play with a two-page spread for a Halloween feature, The Ultimate Pittsburgh Zombie Hunt.

(click images for a larger view)

In order to accommodate the text and not have most of the illustrations squeezed into the lower half of the image, we decided to forgo geographical accuracy, and make it look more like a treasure map.

Sean Collier, the writer of the piece, included six must-visit locations for any connoisseur of the undead visiting the area.

 House of the Dead, a store catering to all of your zombie needs.

The Evans City Cemetery (shooting location for George Romero's 1968 classic Night of the Living Dead)

Monroeville Mall (shooting location for Romero's 1978 sequel, Dawn of the Dead)

Kennywood Park, home of many scary thrill rides

 Allegheny Cemetery, the final resting place of Stephen Foster

The Scarehouse, a Halloween attraction featuring a deranged bunny mascot

Any type of illustration involving a map has the potential to turn into a design nightmare, but putting this together turned out to be a lot of fun, thanks to the flexibility of the magazine's Art Director, Chuck Beard.

Spare Change?

The Internet has given us many gifts: the ability to make expensive impulse purchases at any hour of the day, the complete loss of personal privacy, and access to everyone's opinion on the latest meaningless controversy. In addition to those delights, we can also view videos of people asking for money to support their visionary projects, which is the subject of today's Bizarro comic.

Kickstarter is just one of dozens of crowdsourcing sites that liberate would-be geniuses from mooching off their parents (and apparently a lot of projects are initiated by the offspring of celebrities). Now, with a simple homemade video, they can ask friends, family, acquaintances, and zillions of strangers to pitch in!

If a funded project fails to materialize, there's little chance of the "investors" ever receiving a refund. In fairness, there are certainly many worthy projects, produced by people of honesty and integrity who deliver everything as promised. Perhaps some creators simply use up their energy on the pitch, and move on to their next idea.

There's no submission sketch for this cartoon, as we used a re-jiggered version of an old comic (which, coincidentally, was also one of my gags).

Although he could easily have recycled the entire image except for the computer screen, Bizarro CEO Dan Piraro made a few tweaks here and there, giving readers something a little different, and keeping his colorist employed. 

I don't recall ever seeing a previous cartoon reused without some alteration. That's just not the way things are done at Bizarro Global Enterprises.

All of our previous joint efforts can be viewed here.

Thanks for checking out today's comic. And, have I told you about my new project? All I need is to raise a couple million. If you pitch in, I'll send you a really cool trinket!

One Man's Dummy

Today's Bizarro comic imagines an embarrassing predicament particular to a certain segment of the entertainment industry.

Here's my submission sketch for comparison.

In the sketch, one puppet asks the setup question, while in Dan Piraro's finished panel, the conversation is between the ventriloquists. I'm only guessing, but I think Dan made that choice to keep the magical/absurd aspect focused on the sleeping dummy. This is a quiet little gag, so it probably doesn't need two dummies behaving like people. Either way works, but it is interesting to note the slightly different feel in each approach.

Dan likes to draw the dummy and ventriloquist in matching outfits, which is a nice, funny touch. And now I want a red tuxedo.

An earlier sketch, never submitted, shows just one ventriloquist on stage with a sleeping dummy. 

I'd intended to show him thinking something like What a time for my arm to fall asleep!, but felt the gag didn't have enough punch, and almost immediately scribbled this thumbnail in the margin of the same sketchbook page.

Intermezzo:

Dan's drawing of the matching outfits reminded me of these uncannily accurate dummies of the band NRBQ, which appeared on the cover of their 2004 album Dummy.

Clockwise from top left: Joey Spampinato, Tommy Ardolino, Johnny Spampinato, Terry Adams

NRBQ has been around in various incarnations since the late 1960s, and have created a large body of wonderful records and compositions. The current band includes one original member, Terry Adams. The NRBQ dummies were made by an artist named Heidi Kennedy.

Back on topic:

Ventriloquists and dummies are certainly staple characters in gag cartoons (not to mention bad horror movies). One wonders if there's been a cartoon with a ventriloquist and a dummy on a desert island, being visited by the Grim Reaper.

Here's a ventriloquist-themed illustration I did ten years ago. I believe it was done for the now-defunct New York Press, probably for the astrology column.

As always, you are invited to browse the many collaborations between Dan Piraro and me right here in this blog's Bizarro archive.

Another new bit will appear a week from today.

Red Snapper

Today's Bizarro comic features a popular candy treat.

The submission sketch is naturally a bit rough, but the layout is pretty much the same. The glaciers in the final art are more majestic.

One very nice touch Dan made is the way the angler is holding his catch so daintily. As the colorist, I was very happy with the way the glaciers and the ocean turned out, with the original black line art replaced with colored lines.

Swedish Fish candies have been around for over fifty years, and actually originated in Sweden. I recall them being larger (and sold individually rather than in a sealed bag) when I used to buy them at the little league concession stand, but the unidentifiable "red" flavor seems to have remained about the same.

Today is the first of three consecutive Thursdays this month for Piraro/Wayno collaborations to appear, so check your daily paper, or that "web" thing everyone's talking about. And please feel free to peruse the many previous gags I've worked on with Dan.

Reflect Yourself!

Today's Bizarro features a happy fellow who's just finished a painful but apparently satisfying task.

Dan significantly changed the composition compared to my straightforward sketch, and the many details he included add a lot of interest to the scene. 

The flash samples on the wall and the gentleman's tattoos also gave him an opportunity to include quite a few Bizarro secret symbols.

The masterstroke in the finished art is the window sign. Since it's painted to be viewed from outside the shop, it also appears correctly to the protagonist as he looks in the mirror.

Oddly enough, this guy's MOM selfie worked out just fine.

I'd been trying for some time to craft a tattoo-related gag parodying Norman Rockwell's famous painting, Triple Self-Portrait, but could never come up with anything that recalled the familiar image and produced a laugh.

Finally, I realized that, as shown in the painting, Rockwell's canvas depicts his mirror image. That was the hook I needed for the tattoo gag. It bears no resemblance to the Rockwell piece that inspired it, but a train of thought sometimes arrives at an unexpected station.

The NO REGRETS text provides an extra layer of commentary on permanent bodily decoration. I know I've had second thoughts about my own youthful choice of epidermal enhancement.

Please feel free to browse all of my prior collaborations with the great Dan Piraro, and watch for more in the weeks to come.