Veni, Vidi, Abduxi

This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend Dan Piraro created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.

Wayno

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All your children are poor unfortunate victims

Of lies you believe
A plague upon your ignorance
That keeps the young from the truth they deserve
Frank Zappa

 

The lyrics above are from "What's the Ugliest Part of Your Body?" from the 1968 Mothers of Invention album, We're Only in It for the Money. 

Two months after Money, Zappa's first solo release, Lumpy Gravy was released. I saved my school lunch money and bought both LPs after seeing an eye-catching psychedelic ad in Not Brand Echh, a Marvel comic book that parodied the superhero genre. The music and graphics on those two records simultaneously thrilled me and freaked me out.

That lyrical passage has stayed with me over the decades and is particularly resonant in the strange times we've been experiencing in recent years.

I still listen to both albums regularly. I had them playing while working this week, prompted in part by my photo research for today's pipe pic, a promotional shot of Hugh "Lumpy" Brannum (1910-1987). Brannum was a composer, arranger, singer, actor and musician.

Between 1948 and 1950, he narrated a series of children's records as "Uncle Lumpy," accompanied by Fred Waring and his Pennsylvanians. Brannum hosted a local kids' TV show called Uncle Lumpy's Cabin in 1951, and in 1955 he began a thirty-year run on Captain Kangaroo playing Mr. Green Jeans, the role for which he was best known.

Lumpy's friendly mug served as the model for a character in one of the week's Bizarro panels, which we'll now review.

The green-skinned stranger goes by the nickname The Composite Kid, and travels as a line worker for Western Electric.

Even rodents like to feel fancy.
 

The farmer trying to pull a fast one was modeled after our friend Lumpy.

The pets worked out their differences, and now the parrot announces when the litter box needs changing.

Multiple VFO sightings were reported in the vicinity of the Seven Hills

The formerly evil queen went to medical school and developed an insomnia treatment for cartoon characters.

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Beer Here!

Last week, Dan Piraro mentioned in his blog that I'd designed quite a few beer labels over the years, and several of you asked to see them, so I'll feature them here in upcoming weeks.

This one, from 2010, has an interesting history.

The brew was originally called Eye Opener, but the Federal agency that reviews alcohol labels rejected that name, saying it constituted a health claim. We changed the name to Coffee Porter, illustrated with a rebus that decodes as "eye opener." They saw through our ruse and bounced it back for another redesign.

 

We decided to separate the drawings, and offer the beer with two different labels, which the Feds finally approved.

If you visit Pittsburgh, I recommend checking out East End Brewing Company. They make excellent beers, and have two locations serving them, along with wines, soft drinks, and a pizza of the week. Their new taproom just opened in my neighborhood, which makes me very happy.

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Bonus Track

Captain Kangaroo: "The Horse in Striped Pajamas"
Golden Records single, 1959

 

The song is usually performed by a child and an adult, with the kid pointing out the animals, asking "Hey there Daddy, do you see..?" In Captain Kangaroo's version, the child's part is awkwardly played by Mr. Green Jeans. It's not easy to hear without cringing.

And, yes, the record is in my collection. But it's never played.

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More Bizarro Stuff

If you've read this far, you might enjoy additional cartoon goodness from our alternate locations.

Dan Piraro's Bizarro Blog
Dan's Sunday Bizarro page, comics commentary, and even a bit of poetry

 Wayno's Bizarro Newsletter
A weekly supplement to the blog, with a peek at an upcoming gag and a graphic artifact from my digital files

Peyote Cowboy

Dan Piraro's epic, award-winning surreal western graphic novel

 

Please drop by here again next week. Thanks for your ocular attention.

 

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Support Your Local Humorist

Copyright© 2023 by Wayno®

 

Comfort Food

This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend Dan Piraro created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.

Wayno

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Perfection is finally attained, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

I recently encountered this quote from the French aviator, poet, journalist, and writer best known as the author of The Little Prince. I've seen the same idea expressed by many other artists and writers, and I try to apply it to my art. It's sometimes difficult but is always at least worth considering.

This week, as I was about to upload a batch of comics, I stopped and tweaked a word balloon, trimming twelve words down to seven. I had to change all four files for that day (color panel, color strip, black & white panel, and black & white strip) which was slightly painful, but it improved the gag.

When my musical trio learns and rehearses new material, we often talk about leaving spaces for silence in the arrangements.

These insights aren't revolutionary. I mention them mostly as reminders for myself.

Our pipe pic for the week is a vintage graphic from Finland.

Sometimes the Rule of Three beats the philosophy of brevity, as in this fine design. I do wonder what the word "impregnated" means regarding safety matches.

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As we review the week's Bizarro comics, let's see if there's anything I should have left out.

Suzanne P, a Facebook friend asked if the Inquisitor shown was the Archbishop of Cadbury, which made me laugh.

Tuesday's gag is based on the real-world phenomenon of crows learning that scarecrows are usually located near food. It's mentioned in Mary Roach's informative and funny book Fuzz: When Nature Breaks the Law.

 

 

Speaking of real-world conditions, this optometrist adapted vision testing to the way many people read.

Hasbro is proud to introduce Mister Reassuring Head.

As usual, my favorite gag is in the Friday slot. I have an affinity for using inanimate objects as characters in Bizarro. I especially like to draw them simply as the objects they are, without adding human-like features. I may have been partly influenced by Ernie Kovacs.

I was also pleased with the strip layout.

We wrapped up the week with what might be called an optical pun. When the caption is read aloud, "faster" doesn't sound close enough to "Easter" to qualify as a pun. However, the reader's default mode network might initially process the caption as "The Easter Bunny," before noticing the word substitution. It's an unusual form of wordplay, whatever it's called.

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Beer Here!

Because someone asked, here's another beer label design from my archives.

Our pals at East End Brewing Company made and bottled this delicious beer three times, and we changed the label's color palette for each batch.

Back in 2012, I shared all three versions, along with concept sketches on this very blog.

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Bonus Track

The Hoffman Brothers: "Unbroken But Blue"
From the album All Ears (2023)

 

I’m fortunate to have many friends who are excellent musicians. Some even let me perform with them, though I'm an advanced beginner at best.

The Hoffman Brothers (Gary, Mark, and Jeff) are veteran Pittsburgh musicians and educators. Mark is an old friend with whom I've had memorable adventures, including a trip to New York to see the Residents on their Cube-E tour. Many years ago, I was in a short-lived band with Gary and was in awe of his powerful drumming and singing. I don't know Jeff, but I know he comes from good stock.

This new song is a beautifully crafted piece of guitar-based vocal pop and has become my latest earworm, which I now share with you.

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Alternate Bizarro Locations

Dan Piraro's Bizarro Blog
Dan's Sunday page, plus comics commentary and a reminder that it's not cool to steal someone else's work

 Wayno's Bizarro Newsletter
A supplement to the blog, with a peek at an upcoming gag and a graphic image from my past

Peyote Cowboy

Dan "Diego" Piraro's epic, award-winning surreal Western graphic novel

 

Thanks for stopping by and reading more words than are probably necessary. I hope you'll visit us again next week.
 

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Support Your Local Humorist

Copyright© 2023 by Wayno®

 

The Universal Language

This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend Dan Piraro created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.

Wayno

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Once I was invited to pose naked for a men's magazine and I replied that I would, but with three conditions: dressed as a nun, without glasses and without bangs. That was my idea of nudity. 

Rita Lee (1947-2023)

The entertaining, witty, revolutionary Brazilian musician Rita Lee died this week at age 75. It was a bit of a surprise to read a lengthy obituary in the New York Times since she wasn't widely known here in the US.

With her two brothers, she founded the band Os Mutantes in 1966, and after five albums, launched a solo career in 1972. I first heard Os Mutantes sometime in the late 80s or early 90s, as part of a music nerd network who swapped homemade cassette compilations through the mail. They sounded sort of psychedelic, a bit electronic, heavy, weird and otherworldly. They sang in Portuguese, which I don't speak, so I heard the voices as purely musical instruments. I had to hear more of this stuff, and was never disappointed.

In 1998, David Byrne compiled a selection of the band's music, released as Everything is Possible!—The Best of Os Mutantes. The collection is a fine entry point, but nearly everything Lee recorded, with Os Mutantes and as a solo artist is worth exploring.

The album Tecnicolor (recorded in 1970, but not released until 2000) is also an excellent place to start. It included new material, and rerecorded versions of songs from their first two LPs, with vocals in English, French, and Portuguese. The English language version of their 1968 song, "Baby" is a favorite. Bebel Gilberto released a cover version of "Baby" in 2012, with a nearly identical arrangement.

One of the joys of music is the fact that there's always more to discover. Rita Lee's obituary reminded me to revisit these unique recordings. If you've been turned on to music you never heard before, drop your recommendations in the comments section. We'd love to hear about the music that surprised and delighted you.

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Our pipe pic this time is a bit of a mystery to me. I found it online but failed to record where it came from.

 

A Google image search yielded no matches, only a selection of black and white silhouettes of people in profile, all without a pipe.

 

I have a vague, possibly false memory that it might be associated with surrealist Marcel Duchamp. He was often photographed with a pipe, and created some art featuring pipes.

If you recognize this photo and know anything about it, please post in the comments.

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A pipe or two may have turned up among this week's Bizarro panels. Let's have a look.

We opened with a retelling of Hansel and Gretel in Franglais.

 

As a member of the United Cartoon Workers of America, I'm required to do at least one desert island gag per year.

When I share Bizarro gags on social media, I usually include a short phrase related to the image. When I drew the May 1 panel, I thought of the phrase "cosmetic carpentry" to accompany the cartoon but decided that it could be used in a separate gag. After doing photo research for the drawing, I applied for hazardous duty pay.

 

The executioner can also light the prisoner's last cigarette.

Sometimes a writing session yields more than one usable idea from a single premise or character. I wrote this one at the same time as last month's Humpty Dumpty gag. Since the drawings of HD were so similar, I let a few weeks pass between them. 

The next time that happens, I might consider running related jokes two days in a row.

We're not above using puns here at Bizarro Studios, if we find them to be surprising and funny.

I used mirror images of the panel's elements for the strip layout, for those interested in the nuts and bolts of Bizarro.

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Beer Here!

This label is a fine example of a punning beer name.

 

In addition to making many delicious beers, my friends at East End Brewing Company inspired a recent gag.

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Bonus Track

Os Mutantes: "A Minha Menina"
From the LP Os Mutantes
Polydor Records (Brazil), 1968

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More Bizarro Stuff Around the WWW

 Wayno's Weekly Bizarro Newsletter

  Dan Piraro's Weekly Bizarro Blog

Dan "Diego" Piraro's Peyote Cowboy Graphic Novel

 

Thanks for visiting us, and Happy Mother's Day to all moms and mother figures out there. See you next week.
 

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Support Your Local Humorist

Copyright© 2023 by Wayno®

 

 

 

 

 

Practical Dread

This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend Dan Piraro created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.

Wayno

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I got a head full of ideas that are drivin' me insane.

Bob Dylan (lyric from "Maggie's Farm")

Bob Dylan, the Bard of Duluth, turned 82 this week. Rough and Rowdy Ways, his most recent album of new material, was released in 2020, when he was a kid of 79. It's a strong addition to his lengthy discography, and his career of more than six decades is inspiring.

Recently, I ran into a friend and fellow artist at the opening of East End Brewing's new taproom in my neighborhood. We were talking about work, and the concerns of working artists. We've both been doing what we do for a long time and noted that we have fewer bouts of impostor syndrome than we did in our younger years, but are not immune from anxiety over deadlines, bookkeeping, taxes, and the uncertain future of outlets for our work. I noted that we now experience a more practical dread. We also agreed that Practical Dread is a great name for a band.

Although I've (mostly) overcome self-doubt regarding visual art, as a musician, I always fear that I'll be found out as a charlatan. I like to think that's preferable to unfounded overconfidence, which is widespread.

Whatever form of creative expression you practice, I hope it brings you satisfaction.

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Today's pipe pic is newly-minted octogenarian Michael Palin of the Monty Python troupe.

 

Palin's birthday was on May fifth, so we're a little late in celebrating his milestone, but I loved this photo so much, I had to share it today.

For obsessive Monty Python nerds, I recommend Michael Palin's book, Diaries 1969–1979: The Python Years. It's a fascinating day-to-day account of the history of the Pythons, and Palin's life during those years.

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Since we're all friends here, I feel comfortable enough to share the latest Bizarro gags.

If the Hell of religious mythology were an actual physical place, getting into the energy business would probably be more profitable than buying souls.

Tuesday's panel includes a rare Franglais pun as its caption. Researching this gag taught me that the diacritical mark over the letter "e" is called a circumflex.

Every Bizarro panel starts as a hastily scribbled digital sketch. I print them out and use them as a guide for drawing the finished art. The number below the signature is a sequential identifier attached to each cartoon, which is used in an unwieldy spreadsheet where I document all of my work.

At this stage, I often edit the text, as seen above. I usually try to remove as many words as possible, although sometimes wordy dialog can improve a gag.

Speaking of imposter syndrome, this software is almost human.

Here's a fine example of the high-quality prose AI can produce.

I do hope that my cartoons giggles you regularly.

Following last week's pair of Darth Vader puns, I finally got the character out of my system with one more gag.

My colleague George Broderick, Jr. noted that this gag ran on the 46th anniversary of the release of the first Star Wars film, and asked if it was intentional on my part. It was a complete coincidence.

Complementing Tuesday's circumflex, Friday's caption included a tilde. Before you consider joining this particular religion, you should be warned that the rite of baptism involves Wiffle Ball bats.

We also considered the line, "You never invite me to your place."

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Beer Here!

A little over a year after releasing Old Nebby Stock Ale (featured in last week's blog), our friends at East End Brewing Company bottled a brew they named Old Knobby.

I still have a couple more labels to share in the coming weeks.

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Bonus Track

Bob Dylan, "Tangled Up in Blue"
From Blood on the Tracks
Columbia Records LP, 1975

One of my favorite Dylan numbers, and an example of what I had in mind last week when I said, "If [an] artist hadn't made x, they may never have created y."

For this listener, "Tangled Up in Blue" is the y that stops me from dismissing x ("Rainy Day Women #12 & 35.")

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More Bizarro Material 

 Wayno's Weekly Bizarro Newsletter

  Dan Piraro's Weekly Bizarro Blog

Dan "Diego" Piraro's Peyote Cowboy Graphic Novel

 

That's the latest from scenic Hollywood Gardens, PA. Catch you next week?
 

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Support Your Local Humorist

Copyright© 2023 by Wayno®