Veni, Vidi, Abduxi

This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend Dan Piraro created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.

Wayno

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All your children are poor unfortunate victims

Of lies you believe
A plague upon your ignorance
That keeps the young from the truth they deserve
Frank Zappa

 

The lyrics above are from "What's the Ugliest Part of Your Body?" from the 1968 Mothers of Invention album, We're Only in It for the Money. 

Two months after Money, Zappa's first solo release, Lumpy Gravy was released. I saved my school lunch money and bought both LPs after seeing an eye-catching psychedelic ad in Not Brand Echh, a Marvel comic book that parodied the superhero genre. The music and graphics on those two records simultaneously thrilled me and freaked me out.

That lyrical passage has stayed with me over the decades and is particularly resonant in the strange times we've been experiencing in recent years.

I still listen to both albums regularly. I had them playing while working this week, prompted in part by my photo research for today's pipe pic, a promotional shot of Hugh "Lumpy" Brannum (1910-1987). Brannum was a composer, arranger, singer, actor and musician.

Between 1948 and 1950, he narrated a series of children's records as "Uncle Lumpy," accompanied by Fred Waring and his Pennsylvanians. Brannum hosted a local kids' TV show called Uncle Lumpy's Cabin in 1951, and in 1955 he began a thirty-year run on Captain Kangaroo playing Mr. Green Jeans, the role for which he was best known.

Lumpy's friendly mug served as the model for a character in one of the week's Bizarro panels, which we'll now review.

The green-skinned stranger goes by the nickname The Composite Kid, and travels as a line worker for Western Electric.

Even rodents like to feel fancy.
 

The farmer trying to pull a fast one was modeled after our friend Lumpy.

The pets worked out their differences, and now the parrot announces when the litter box needs changing.

Multiple VFO sightings were reported in the vicinity of the Seven Hills

The formerly evil queen went to medical school and developed an insomnia treatment for cartoon characters.

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Beer Here!

Last week, Dan Piraro mentioned in his blog that I'd designed quite a few beer labels over the years, and several of you asked to see them, so I'll feature them here in upcoming weeks.

This one, from 2010, has an interesting history.

The brew was originally called Eye Opener, but the Federal agency that reviews alcohol labels rejected that name, saying it constituted a health claim. We changed the name to Coffee Porter, illustrated with a rebus that decodes as "eye opener." They saw through our ruse and bounced it back for another redesign.

 

We decided to separate the drawings, and offer the beer with two different labels, which the Feds finally approved.

If you visit Pittsburgh, I recommend checking out East End Brewing Company. They make excellent beers, and have two locations serving them, along with wines, soft drinks, and a pizza of the week. Their new taproom just opened in my neighborhood, which makes me very happy.

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Bonus Track

Captain Kangaroo: "The Horse in Striped Pajamas"
Golden Records single, 1959

 

The song is usually performed by a child and an adult, with the kid pointing out the animals, asking "Hey there Daddy, do you see..?" In Captain Kangaroo's version, the child's part is awkwardly played by Mr. Green Jeans. It's not easy to hear without cringing.

And, yes, the record is in my collection. But it's never played.

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More Bizarro Stuff

If you've read this far, you might enjoy additional cartoon goodness from our alternate locations.

Dan Piraro's Bizarro Blog
Dan's Sunday Bizarro page, comics commentary, and even a bit of poetry

 Wayno's Bizarro Newsletter
A weekly supplement to the blog, with a peek at an upcoming gag and a graphic artifact from my digital files

Peyote Cowboy

Dan Piraro's epic, award-winning surreal western graphic novel

 

Please drop by here again next week. Thanks for your ocular attention.

 

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