I Got Them Old Empty Can Blues Again, Mama

This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend Dan Piraro created Bizarro in the late twentieth century, and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.

Wayno

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Ambiguity is okay. Ask the reader to meet you halfway.
Bill Griffith

Happy 2023, friends. 

I feel as if I started doing the Bizarro dailies just a few weeks ago, yet here we are starting the sixth year. Time flies when you have unending deadlines, and I mean that in a positive way.

This post kicks off with a quote from my friend and hero Bill Griffith, creator of Zippy the Pinhead, among many other memorable works of comic art. It's taken from a Sunday Zippy page titled Griffy's Top Ten List on Comics and Their Creation. I regularly consult Bill's rules, and this item, number six on the list, is one I think about often. Part of humor's appeal is the small, surprising discoveries, revealing a joke or observation that isn't spelled out in large block letters.

Item ten is also a favorite:

Never listen to anyone else's advice on cartooning.

That's worth remembering, particularly when we share our work on social media. It enables us to reach an audience beyond readers who seek out comics online or in print, but that's not always a plus. Most comments from random accounts are complaints, misguided "expertise," or unrelated rants, which led to my own eleventh rule:

Never respond to ridiculous comments or questions.

We do comics for people who get the concept of meeting in the middle. You know who you are, and we appreciate you.

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Our first pipe pic of the New Year shows a happy mid-century American family admiring their new popcorn popper. It comes from Paul Nesja, one of the hosts of The New Yorker Cartoon Caption Contest Podcast, which is available on the usual podcast platforms. If you're a fan of single-panel cartoons, you might enjoy the podcast's in-depth discussions of caption writing. I listen to it every week.

Paul has a keen eye for vintage graphics, and he recently sent me a scan of this beauty from his collection of printed ephemera, which I'm happy to share here.

Paul and his spouse Christy own and operate Nesja Press, an art and design studio specializing in letterpress printing. They offer a selection of attractive cards and prints, including a collaboration with New Yorker cartoonist Drew Dernavich.

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Now, let's assess the ambiguity levels in this week's Bizarro comics.

The year's first panel required a crane shot to deliver its trashy gag.

And, the strip layout called for some creative shuffling of the art.

Sometimes, Whatever is enough.
 

Simple trickery helped the panel become a strip. I only had to add walls on both sides to  turn the counter into a service window. That's another trade secret revealed as we continue to demystify the cartooning process.

Management says the quiet part out loud, or perhaps more accurately, enlarges the fine print.

I've now used about half of what I remember from high school Spanish class. The other bit I retain is the teacher's frequent exclamation, "¡Cierren sus bocas!"

The text in Friday's gag was wordier in my initial sketch:

 

The final version is punchier, and employs the Rule of Three, making for a more satisfying payoff.

If these characters combined their star signs and Chinese zodiac animals, I'd have drawn them as a tigerfish and a two-headed monkey.

That's a wrap for the first week of 2023. Thanks for joining us for another spin around the sun.

For additional insight into the minds behind Bizarro, check out our other convenient storefronts:

Dan Piraro's Bizarro Blog
Marvel at Dan's latest Sunday Bizarro, and his thoughts on non-cartoon topics

Wayno's Bizarro Newsletter
A weekly supplement to the blog, with a preview of an upcoming gag, and a graphic artifact from my past

Peyote Cowboy

Dan Piraro's surreal western graphic novel

 

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Going Legit

You may recall that in November, I was one of many cartoonists who celebrated the centennial of Charles Schulz, creator of Peanuts. The project was initiated by cartoonists Robb Armstrong (JumpStart), Patrick McDonnell (Mutts), and Patrick's wife, Karen O'Connell.

When the National Cartoonists Society notified members about the project early in 2022, they mentioned that there would probably be an exhibit of the comic art at some time in the future, and in early December, The Charles M. Schulz Museum sent letters expressing an interest in acquiring the original art.

I was thrilled to imagine my art residing in the Schulz Museum, and happily shipped my donation to them.

I don't normally include balloons or lettering in my hand-drawn originals, but I knew in advance that this one would probably hang in an exhibit someday, so I added them, along with a signature, crop marks, and title.

More typically, I consider my originals to be production pieces rather than finished comics. The drawings are raw material, crafted into comics after they've been scanned. When I take them into the digital domain, I remove the pencil lines and date stamp, and clean up the black & white art. Then I'll add panel borders, balloons, text, copyright info, and signature. I digitally draw in some of the Secret Symbols after the panel is laid out, when I can see spots where they might be placed.

Here's an example to make things clearer.

Finished Bizarro panel, 11/24/26

Original art, 9/22/22

Since every panel will also be reconfigured as a strip, I often separate individual elements in the original art, to allow for moving and resizing later, as needed. The original drawing might also include pieces that don't appear in the final comic, like the family portrait on the wall in the image above.

That's your peek at how the cartoon sausage is made at this particular delicatessen.

If you happen to see my drawing at the Schulz Museum someday, you'll know a little extra about what was behind its creation. I hope to see it there myself. The Museum is a terrific place to spend time, and I sincerely appreciate them giving this piece a permanent and prestigious home.

 

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Bonus Track

Wire: "I Am the Fly"
Harvest/EMI Records single, 1978

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Support Your Local Humorist

Copyright© 2023 by Wayno®

Loose Cannon

This is the regular dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend, Dan Piraro, who created Bizarro in the late twentieth century, continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.

Wayno

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Don't be too eager to be recognised by fools.
Yoko Ono

I've decided to stop opening blog posts by saying how busy I've been. With a regular deadline to write, draw, and format six gags every week, things are always relatively busy here, but I don't want to sound like a complainer. I'm grateful to have this gig, which I prefer to anything I've done in the past, like loading trucks at a steel barrel manufacturer, or recycling gas meters by sending them through a gigantic furnace (both real jobs from my past). The only dangers a cartoonist faces are paper cuts, spilling ink on the carpet, or occasional overcaffeination.

The quote at the head of this post is taken from one of my favorite Twitter accounts. Yoko Ono is still an artistic force at age 89, and her observations are always optimistic and often wise.

Our pipe pic for today is a spray paint masterpiece on the wall of Rick Bach's art studio.

Rick is a prolific creator with an immediately recognizable style. For almost thirty years, he's been making fantastical paintings and sculptures for Pittsburgh's Mad Mex restaurants. Surrounded by Rick's art, one can imagine having been dropped into a hallucinatory underworld full of imposing (but friendly) creatures of all shapes and sizes. Rick was kind enough to allow us to share this studio photo on the blog.

He lent his unique style to a Pittsburgh Steelers gameday poster for the 2021-22 season, which sold out before the kickoff.

Rick now lives in Washington, D.C., but maintains a studio in Pittsburgh, and frequently exhibits here. If you have the chance to see his art in person, don't miss it.

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Now, let's look at what came out of my studio since our last post.

Monday's panel was inspired by my practice of watching calming nature documentaries to wind down at bedtime. PBS hit a peak with Night Deposits: The World of Tooth Fairies.

In addition to the usual outlets, most of us cartoonists spend a few minutes each day sharing our work on social media platforms. I post Bizarro comics on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram Mondays through Saturdays.

The Instagram feed gets the most comments by far. A significant percentage are from self-styled experts on everything, while others turn into long argument threads that eventually have nothing to do with the gag in question.

I generally read them, but almost never respond to random strangers. However, my impulse control was at a low point when I saw this one:

"Fun fact" seems to be the new "with all due respect." It usually prefaces an insult, a complaint, or an unnecessary explanation, often poorly-worded and riddled with misspellings. At least they didn't open with "This would have been funnier if..." 

A rare moment of honesty from a used vehicle salesperson.

Inking the cannon, particularly the shading of the barrel was a strangely relaxing activity.

On Wednesday we had some fun with a silly bilingual pun, and received no Gallic hate mail. My favorite detail in this one is the Flying Croissant of Possibility secret symbol variant.

Everyone deserves to be pampered from time to time. 

 

Friday's panel indulges my habit of using inanimate objects as characters, without giving them physical human features. I find realistic objects to be funnier than if they'd been drawn with faces or limbs, but can't explain why. 

This approach would be tougher in a New Yorker style cartoon, which is usually a drawing with a caption set beneath it. A word balloon clearly shows which object/character is speaking.

This defense makes as much sense as others we've read about.

That's the latest from Bizarro Studios North. Thanks for joining us here, and for reading the comic. If you enjoy the blog, you might like to check out these related virtual locations:

Dan Piraro's Bizarro Blog

Wayno's Bizarro Newsletter

Diego Piraro's Peyote Cowboy Graphic Novel

See you next week.

Bonus Track

France Gall "Laisse Tomber les Filles"
(1964 Tele Melody film)

To make up for that "Jacques" pun, here's a delightful song by France Gall. It's a prime example of what was called Yé-yé music.

 

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Support Your Local Humorist

 

Old World Craftsmanship

Welcome to your weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, located just off the highway in scenic Hollywood Gardens, PA. The last few days have been busy and stressful (don't ask!), so instead of my usual rambling introduction, we'll jump right in with a pipe pic.

Photo: Ed Ford/AP

If one can believe the site where this fascinating photo was posted, the two gents pictured are George Braunsdorf (6 feet 4 inches) and Joe Damone (5 feet 1 inch) demonstrating the "Double Ender" pipe in New York, on June 2, 1949. 

According to the caption, "the pipe was designed as a means of conserving  tobacco by a couple of pipe smokers down on their luck, or, sharing a smoke at a ball game."

Thanks to eagle-eyed Bizarro reader and pipespotter Andréa D for the lead on this one.

In other news, I've been selected as the Winner for the 2022 Best of Pittsburgh Award in the category of Woodcuts For Use In Printing. This, despite the fact that I have never in my life made a woodcut for use in printing.

Every year I receive an email from these scammers, trying to sell plaques and "crystal" awards that I can use to impress whoever might be fooled by such ridiculous crap. They even wrote a nonspecific but hilarious press release for me.

While I ponder whether I should start doing Bizarro as a woodcut, let's review the latest comics in their current form.

If any streaming platform launches a series about a baby vampire Eros, please contact our attorneys.

 

We're almost certain that Tuesday's gag marks the first ever appearance of the word "trepanning" in a syndicated newspaper comic.

 

Earlier this month, King Features updated their Comics Kingdom site, and since then, it's been displaying the horizontal strip version of Bizarro. I conceive and draw the daily comics with the panel layout in mind, and consider the strip to be an alternate version. Comics Kingdom is supposed to default to the preferred panel form, and we hope to have things back to normal soon. This didn't happen to Dennis the Menace!

I had already planned to share the strip version on the blog, because it's a little different from the panel.

In this layout, we see some of the monster's other tools, along with his favorite coffee mug.

 

What else would you use to guard a field of candy corn?

 

In keeping with my tradition of second-guessing every comic, I now wish I'd deleted the word "somehow" in this panel. Otherwise, I'm happy with it. Imagine the existential horror of becoming a termite if you're made of wood.

As usual, I prefer the panel version over the strip. The portrait layout feels more claustrophobic, which is what I was going for with the drawing. The strip is too roomy.

 

Three hours barely scratches the surface.

That's the latest from Bizarro Studios North, folks. Don't forget to cruise over to Dan Piraro's blog for more pithy commentary from a cartoonist who's won actual awards.

One last tidbit: I recently recorded a short interview for Peter Anthony Holder's The Stuph File Program. I make my appearance at the 43 minute mark, right after "Brady Bunch" alum Christopher Knight.

Bonus Track

Josef K: "Sorry for Laughing"
Postcard Records, 1981

My favorite Scottish post-punk band.

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Support Your Local Humorist

Slow Train Coming

This week, I picked up posters and t-shirts I designed for a unique annual event here in Pittsburgh called Hell With the Lid Off. It happens at Kelly's Bar & Lounge, a beloved local watering hole known for its killer jukebox, and fantastic burgers and mac & cheese. HWTLO is a barleyine festival where attendees can taste many dozens of barleywine samples while enjoying Kelly's superb bar food.

The beautiful silkscreen printing was done by CommonWealth Press, a locally-owned company who I've worked with on tons of projects over the years. The crew at CommonWealth always delivers top quality stuff.

The shirts and posters will only be available at the event, so if you're thinking of visiting Pittsburgh, March 23 would be a fine day to swing by. Just don't plan on driving home from Hell With the Lid Off. 

Now, let's review the week in cartoons.

Thank goodness for innovations that make it easier for local governments to take our money. That updated model does seem to be well-nourished.

When I was a youngster, some unsung genius figured out that city parking meters could be tricked with a penny and the ring from a pop-top beverage can. If these two items were inserted into the nickel and quarter slots, and the handle was turned slowly, the meter would ratchet up to its maximum time. 

I confess that I did that a few times during my school days, so when I pay via a modern parking app for a space that's probably still rented by the previous driver, I figure technology is just balancing my account.

Every year, high school seniors in my community participate in an elaborate game involving sporks. Their school mascot is a blue devil, and I apologize to my locals for making these characters the traditional red variety.

This gag is drawn in part from personal experience. Throughout my adult life, I've dealt with insomnia, in varying degrees of severity. My bouts of sleeplessness are often aggravated by racing thoughts, and anxieties about tasks that need to be done the following day.

I recently discovered a Norwegian television series called Slow TV, and have found the Train Ride from Bergen to Oslo episode to be an effective sleep aid. It's an unedited, real-time documentation of the seven-hour ride. There's no narration or music; just an occasional "ding" when the smooth-running electric train passes under a named tunnel or approaches a station. The visuals are provided by a simple camera or two mounted on the front of the engine. 

In the past, I've tried a white noise phone app, but it didn't work for me. However, hypnotic images of gliding over train tracks amidst snow-covered mountains seems to reset something in my brain, and helps me to shut down for the night. Sometimes it only takes a minute or two. If you're a fellow insomniac, I recommend giving Slow TV a try. I'm not joking.

Hear ye, hear ye! Let it be known throughout the land, that John Hancock XVI has posted his Declaration of Availability. Be sure to scroll through his profile.

I apologize for resorting to a pun on Friday, but thought it was surprising enough to use. Also, the image contains a kernel of truth, as we've all seen performers milk applause by complimenting the audience. 

By the way, that's a full-size guitar in the drawing, so this really is a giant pander. 

Saturday's gag is not meant to disparage food trucks, which I appreciate and enjoy quite often. Rather, it's a comment on know-it-alls who smugly make claims like the avian character in this panel.

If you enjoyed these musings, don't miss Dan Piraro's blog, where he offers his own comments on these gags, and shows off his latest Sunday page.

Bonus Track

The birds in Saturday's gag reminded me of this weird 45 rpm single. The photo above is the actual copy that resides in my collection, but the linked audio file was posted by another music lover with strange tastes. 

I don't know who Harold Wald is, but he thanks you for listening to this tune.

Rhythm Section

We hope everyone had a suitably spooky Halloween. We're posting this dispatch in the wee small hours of the morning because the Combo is headed to the studios of the Saturday Light Brigade for a live radio broadcast. 

Before we pack up the music truck, here's a look back at the week's shenanigans.

The patient has only scrambled memories of childhood.

In fact, this character should avoid moisture all day, every day.

Our Halloween cartoon featured a visit with the monster at home. This year marks the 200th anniversary of the publication of Mary Shelley's novel Frankenstein. We love to draw Frankie, and wondered what would would happen if he had his  ancestral mix analyzed. 

Actually, it'd be a better world if everyone realized that we're all mixed-up mutts, and are all part of one family, one race. 

One can imagine.

I recently saw a bag of sugar-coated almonds that were colored to resemble pimiento-stuffed olives. They were in a bin marked "discontinued candies," which is not surprising.

Friday's gag comments on the dynamics of musical groups, and the personality traits of cats and dogs. The art was inspired by a print created my good friend and musical collaborator Dave Klug.

I have one of these beautiful pieces hanging in my home, and see it every day. In the Bizarro version, I switched their instruments. I imagine a bass player as a laid-back feline type, and drummers as performers who bounce around like  energetic pups. 

My friend Dave is not only an extraordinary artist and designer, he's also a formidable drummer. And he's also more of a cool cat.

Snakes like to go to bars the same as anyone else, but they usually ask for straws.

Check out Dan Piraro's blog for more insight into the week's cartoons, as well as his latest glorious Sunday page. He's also got fine art prints and some of his amazing paintings for sale at DiegoPiraro.com.

Bonus Track

I like to play the drums.
I think I'm getting good but I can handle criticism...