This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend, Dan Piraro, created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.
Wayno
A good start is half the work. Brendan Behan
It's been a few years since I last read Brendan Behan's Borstal Boy, and I don't recall the context of this pithy quote, but I endorse the sentiment as I interpret it.
That brief sentence offers an encyclopedia's worth of advice for artists. The hardest part of creating art of any type is getting beyond the blank page. A meaningless scribble or a random word can serve as a springboard, sending the mind in unexpected creative directions.
Since Brendan kept it brief, I'll follow suit.
Onward!
Bizarro reader Richard H. sent me this charming photo of a dog with a stick that looks like a pipe.
WeRateDogs began as a social media account in 2015. In 2016, they posted a crowdfunding page for a dog in need of costly medical attention. Later, they established the nonprofit 15/10 Foundation, raising money to sponsor shelter dogs with behavioral or medical issues that made them less likely to be adopted.
Thanks to Richard for the photo, and to WeRateDogs and the 15/10 Foundation for showing us what can grow from a good start.
Late last year, I started these cartoons by making marks in my sketchbook and on Bristol paper.
My pal Dan McConnell is both a cartoonist and an orchardist. He had this to say about Monday's gag:
Excellent cartoon, Excellent pear, perfectly named. We grow Bartletts, Anjous and Bosc pears... [The leaves of] Bartletts are just as portrayed in you cartoon but a bit bigger. The spine of the leaf is straight.
Mr. McConnell is a sweet gent and one of the funniest people I know. He could have been a stand-up Comice.
Tuesday's gag was based on that classic TV show, The Fire-Breathing Gourmet.
They'll celebrate by snacking on corned beef jerky (which, I just learned, actually exists).
A snake visiting a psychologist is no less plausible than the traditional Saint Patrick legend.
As if they need reminding.
We got a couple of complaints that this panel was "political" or "editorial." If a little joke about an easily observable behavior among a certain overprivileged population causes offense, I can only surmise that they view everything through an ideological lens.
One of the oddest culinary experiences of my life happened in Vermont. We were visiting good friends who brought us to a "Sugar on Snow" festival. The titular confection is made by heating maple syrup and drizzling it over a tray of snow, where it thickens into a taffy-like candy. It's served with plain donuts and dill pickles in a particular order, which I've forgotten. It's New England's answer to the salt, tequila, and lime ritual.
That's the latest output from Bizarro Studios North. I'd write more, but it's time to start boiling the cabbage. We'll return to this somewhat stable blogging platform next Saturday with a new bouquet of buffoonery.
Okay, my pint of stout has settled, so I really must go. Sláinte, mates.
Bonus Track
The Undertones: "My Perfect Cousin"
Sire Records single, 1980
A Pot o' Bizarro Gold
If you like what we do and appreciate that it's still free, we encourage you to explore the following links.
This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend, Dan Piraro, created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.
Wayno
The themes that make one laugh always stem from poverty, hunger, misery, old age, sickness, and death. These are the themes that make Italians laugh, anyway.
Mario Monicelli (1915-2010)
Greetings from brisk and breezy Hollywood Gardens, PA. Fall has arrived, and with it an early autumn cold—or perhaps allergies caused by pollen, since that seems to have been the year's most successful crop.
I've been enduring various unpleasant symptoms for the past two weeks, and missed two live music events I was looking forward to. I decided to stay at home to avoid spreading the ick to friends and strangers, and I'm almost back to normal as I write this post.
In the future, I may refer to filmmaker Mario Monicelli's words when someone finds one of our cartoons to be too dark. Who knew that the propensity for morbid humor has a genetic component?
Today's multi-pipe pic comes from Bizarro international field correspondent Pablo D.
Pablo sent these notes:
Walking home after lunch today with a friend, we stopped to look at another Tabac with a pipe display in the window. He said there used to be a local shop whose owner made pipes. The sad ending is that he wanted a custom made meerschaum pipe, but waited too long. When he was ready, the shop owner had retired and the shop was closed.
Oh well. But as an American living in France now, I appreciate the support from the government in general to the traditional trades, all the culinary trades, workshops like printing, bookbinding, etc.
Tabac is the name of a French convenience store where you can grab stamps, lottery tickets, mobile phone chargers, and maybe an espresso. It sounds more elegant than the 7-Eleven down the street, doesn't it?
Merci to Pablo for the photo and for the story. It sounds like you had a lovely afternoon with your friend, and I wish I could've been there.
Here's the latest batch of Bizarro cartoons. Apologies in advance for any black humor that may have crept in.
I was delighted to learn that the German word for "menu" includes an umlaut.
Also, extraterrestrials visiting Germany arrive in a flying beer mug.
Before returning to the ship, their parting words were, "Stay warm and prosper."
Anchovius the Salty is Rome's forgotten monarch.
To be fair, they're drawn almost the same from the neck down.
Many airline passengers are "Papa Bears" whose carry-on bags are too large to stow overhead or under the seats. The airline then checks their luggage at the gate for free, while customers who paid in advance feel like chumps.
Carry-ons and "personal items" continue to expand, causing passengers to juggle their oversized bags, which slows down boarding and deplaning.
When we launch Bizarro Airlines, I'll propose that we check bags for free but charge fifty bucks for carry-on items larger than a purse or messenger bag.
Father Bibendum is a harsh confessor.
Although he looks less intimidating than he did in the early 1900s.
With that disturbing image, we conclude this week's cartoon recap.
Comments From Bots
AI has started making blog comments containing advertising links. Fortunately, Google Blogger marks them as potential spam, and they're easily deleted, but it's still a pain. Yet another example of what Cory Doctorow calls "enshittification."
Bonus Track
Werner Hass: "Witch Doctor"
Telefunken Records single, 1958
Since we kicked off the week with an Oktoberfest gag, here's a German record that's also Halloween-appropriate. Many years ago, I acquired a small stack of German-language records of American songs, and most of them are amusingly absurd. (This was scanned and digitized from my personal collection.)
A Basketful of Bizarro Baubles
If you like what we do and appreciate that it's free, we encourage you to explore the following links.
This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend Dan Piraro created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.
Wayno
Modern Americans behave as if intelligence were some sort of hideous deformity.
Frank Zappa
Anti-intellectualism is a fascinating subject, an us-versus-them psychology, rooted in obsession with others having more of something. Instead of admiring smart people and aspiring to become one, it's easier to cry, "No fair!" as if knowledge were a physical commodity to be divvied up. "If you have some, that's less for me!"
The flipside of Frank's observation is the pervasiveness of willing, even proud stupidity. People in charge of certain systems don't want their followers to think; the uninformed are more easily controlled by the powerful.
Intelligence, reason, education, and science are so despised in some circles that they risk being legislated out of society. One hopes the pendulum will swing the other way, but it had better happen soon.
Mister Zappa left the physical plane more than thirty years ago. If only he could see us today.
Bizarro reader Michael P. sent us a pipe pic he snapped in the wild.
Michael writes:
I saw this planter at an antique store in Knoxville, Tennessee, but didn’t buy it.
This unusual piece is possibly as old as the 1950s and appears to have been a fairly popular item, based on the number for sale on Etsy and elsewhere.
Mother's Day is coming up next month, kids.
Thanks to Michael P. for recognizing a potential pipe pic and photographing it for us.
You can decide whether the latest Bizarro panels are stupid or smart. I try to find the sweet spot somewhere in between.
Romance comics were once a big thing, sometimes expanding into niche markets.
I usually include a bogus Secret Symbol count on April Fool's Day. This panel has five symbols, hinted at by the numeral in the crown. When I draw each comic, I assign a sequential number to the art, and this one was the 2,271st since I started working on the dailies—no fooling.
Wednesday's gag takes place in a corporate fretboardroom.
The musical gag prompted my favorite comment of the week over on BlueSky:
Superb work! The chord frames on the sheet music are realistic, and well
spaced. The Gibson SG, Fender Telecaster and Stratocaster are all
accurate, with correct curves on the Fender headstocks. Realistic
controls on the amplifier. Few people will notice, but BRAVO!
Thanks to sombermoose for paying attention to the details. Comments like yours make the effort worthwhile.
Recontextualizing a familiar phrase or swapping in a different word can provide the seeds for a gag, as with this oracular offering.
"...and serve it in a paper cup."
At least poor word choices are easy to fix.
That's the latest from my Little Shop of Humor. Drop by next week for more cartoons and commentary.
Bonus Track
Michael Hurley: "Long Journey"
From the LP Long Journey Rounder Records, 1984
Outsider folk musician, singer-songwriter, and sometime cartoonist Michael Hurley died this week at age 83. His debut album, First Songs, was released in 1963. Several of his subsequent LPs featured his wolf cartoon characters Jocko and Boone.
Hurley was a true American original.
A Panoply of Bizarro Prose & Products
If you like what we do and appreciate that it's free of charge, we encourage you to explore the following links.
This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend Dan Piraro created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.
Wayno
The most important things to do in the world are to get something to eat, something to drink and somebody to love you.
Brendan Behan
Top o' the mornin' to you, Jazz Pickles. Since it's the weekend before Saint Patrick's Day, we open with a simply stated but deeply truthful quote from Irish author Brendan Behan. I must admit that my knowledge of Irish literature is limited. I have read Behan's autobiographical novel Borstal Boy, based on his experiences in a borstal (a prison for youthful offenders). I also struggled through James Joyce's Ulysses while attending college, though it took several attempts, and my compression level was below five percent.
I enjoy Irish food, art, music, and films and have a special appreciation for perfectly poured Guinness.
We observe St. Patrick's Day quietly, with an Irish meal prepared at home. This is not for religious reasons but because we're happy for any excuse to have a special dinner, although my spouse does have some Irish ancestry. Also, I'm too old for drunken frat party-style celebrations.
If you observe the day, I wish you the best.
I want to become more familiar with Irish literature.
Today's nautical pipe pic comes from Bizarro reader Alaric M. of Lowell, MA.
We have no information other than the photo, but it's a winning image. I don't know how large or small it is. It would make a lovely lapel pin, and I've been referring to it as the Bronze Lobsterman.
Thanks to Alaric for sharing another fine pipe pic.
UPDATE: Faithful Jazz Pickle Danielle A. identified this as a brass ashtray designed by an artist named Mike Keeler, and issued by the Keeler Brass Company. The image is said to have been inspired by Hemingway's The Old Man and the Sea. I looked into it and found that there are multiple versions of this item, which vary slightly in appearance. The one in our photo may or may not be an "authentic Keeler."
It's a terrific design, but I'd feel awful stubbing out a cigarette butt in this fellow's face.
Let's see if there's anything worth celebrating in this week's Bizarro cartoons.
I may have taken some prehistoric liberties when casting this cartoon, which was published on my youngest brother's birthday. Happy birthday from one fossil to another!
Speaking of ancient history, we went out on a limb with this reference to a 1960s sitcom. Gilligan seems to transcend generations.
This one necessitated a vertical strip layout.
The irony isn't lost on me; people viewing this panel online also see targeted ads.
The therapist should also address the patient's apparent vestiphobia.
I'd like to think that Bizarro is the first newspaper comic to reference Iggy Pop, but if you know of another one, go ahead and burst my bubble.
UPDATE: Thanks to sharp-eyed Greg S, who found that my good pal and Mark Parisi did an Iggy Pop gag in his award-winning Off the Mark comic back in 2017!
I'm relieved that at least mine wasn't the same gag as Mark's!
The collection plate accepts PayPal, Venmo, and Zelle.
This batch concludes with a leftover from January's Vampyre Week.
I recently saw another vampire cartoon with the caption NOSFERATUTU. Worse, it was done by a good friend, Teresa Roberts Logan, who has an excellent cartoon feature called Laughing Redhead. Worse still, she did her comic in 2021! At least the two aren't precisely the same...
Fortunately, she was very understanding about this type of occurrence, which happens to all of us from both directions. It's still embarrassing, though!
Oh, yes. My friend TRL is also a hilarious standup comic. If she's in your area, don't miss her.
That's the latest from my Little Shop of Humor. Drop by next week for more cartoons and commentary.
Bonus Track #1
The Undertones: "Teenage Kicks"
Originally 45 released in 1978 by Good Vibrations Records
Every year around this time, I like to share legendary BBC disk jockey John Peel's favorite song of all time.
Bonus Track #2
Iggy Pop: "Five Foot One"
From the LP New Values Arista Records, 1979
"Five Foot One" is among my favorites of Iggy's post-Stooges recordings. As a fellow of below-average height, I appreciate the sentiment, and as a music lover, it's a great tune and performance.
He's a bit taller than 5'1", but in person, we'd see eye to eye.
A Bunch o' Bizarro Blarney
If you like what we do and appreciate that it's free of charge, we encourage you to explore the following links.
