This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend, Dan Piraro, created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.
Wayno
Never let anybody put a tool in your hand, kid.
"Uncle Jimmy"
"Uncle Jimmy"
For a couple of summers in my youth, I worked for a neighbor's "decorating" business. Most of what we did was house painting, along with a bit of light demolition, and occasionally we were hired to empty out a house that a deceased owner had left full of stuff their family didn't want.
During one of our "tear-out" jobs, I was holding a kitchen cabinet in place while a coworker loosened the bolts attaching it to the wall. That was when "Uncle Jimmy," the older guy on the crew, offered advice about tools as he rolled a cigarette. I never knew his last name or whether his first name was really Jimmy. I got the impression that he had a shady background, but he was enjoyable to work with.
I thought of Jimmy on Monday, when my spouse and I spent the day doing outdoor work, ignoring his wisdom. We were replacing a border along the edges of our sidewalk. We built it years ago using the parts from a kit meant to make a foot-high raised garden bed. I spent most of the day on my knees, moving dirt and pounding spikes into the ground, and the rest of the time loading debris into a small dumpster.
I returned to the studio Tuesday morning with renewed gratitude for being able to make comics for a living using artists' tools, rather than hammers, shovels, and saws.
The job with the neighbor's business wasn't all punishing labor. The boss treated us to breakfast every morning at a greasy-spoon diner owned by his aunt and uncle, and two guys in their late 20s on the crew shared their "herbal supplements" with their teenage coworker.
At one of the house cleanouts, I found a cool 1930s book about dirigibles, and a One-a-Day vitamin bottle that had been filled with mercury. I had that for a long time, and would spill it out on a sheet of paper to watch it roll around. I'm lucky to have avoided neurological or kidney damage.
When I told my cartoon partner, Dan Piraro, about my salvaged treasures, he said, "I remember playing with mercury from a broken thermometer when I was a kid. I was fascinated with rolling it all around and trying to pick it up. Jeez!" Surviving the use of a toxic element as a toy is yet another thing Dan and I have in common.
My day of landscaping and the memories of many horrible summer jobs reminded me to thank all of you Bizarro readers for enabling me to have a career that may sometimes give me eyestrain but never leaves me with aching muscles or mercury poisoning.
Today's pipe pic is a 1958 shot of Dadaist Marcel Duchamp, taken in New York.
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| Photograph by Richard Avedon © The Richard Avedon Foundation |
A tip of the hat to Monsieur Duchamp for so much artistic inspiration.
No harmful chemicals were used in the creation of the latest Bizarro cartoons.
You can trust the symbol on the sack.
I've done quite a few gags about awards ceremonies, which are easy to make fun of until you're nominated for something.
I had fun drawing and coloring the Apex Predator award, although it was probably too small to read in newspapers.
"You've got the part as soon as you're cleared by Spell Check."
Friday's offering was another of my inanimate-objects-as-characters gags.
I chose 2,645 for the number of bricks because this panel was the 2,645th one I've drawn since I started the daily comics in 2018, and I did some math to arrive at what I hope is a believable weight.
I'll share another half-dozen Laff-O-Grams next Saturday, and I do hope you'll drop by to check them out.
For more insight into a cartoonist's brain, you might enjoy my free Substack newsletter.
Bonus Track
Graham Parker: "Mercury Poisoning"
Arista Records Single, 1979
An Embarrassment of Bizarro Riches
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