Saturday, June 21, 2025

The Terrible Fives

This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend Dan Piraro created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.

Wayno 


The real composer thinks about his work the whole time; he is not always conscious of this, but he is aware of it later when he suddenly knows what he will do.

Igor Stravinsky


During a recent presentation I gave about the day-to-day work of producing six cartoons a week for the past seven-plus years, someone asked how long it takes to write and draw a gag. 

That's tricky. Drawing time can be estimated, as it's accomplished physically, but I can't quantify how long it takes to write a gag. I said something like, "In a way, the writing happens all the time." Not as elegantly as Stravinsky might have put it.

Each weekly batch begins with a "writing day," when I make rough sketches of at least six gags to draw as finished panels. In reality, I had been scribbling words, phrases, or doodles in my sketchbook for days or even weeks before tightening them up into usable material. Any number of things can be the seed of a cartoon: a bit of overheard conversation, a word that pops up in a puzzle, an unconscious scribble made during a phone call, even a typo in an email. 

Long before I begin the sketching phase, my brain tinkers with those kernels of ideas in the background. It's as if the conscious mind did some initial sorting and told the unconscious, "Here are a few that have possibilities. See what you can do with them."

No doubt this is more the result of skills gained through practice rather than anything mystical, but it's fascinating to step back and think about how humans create.

Igor could have been referring to any type of creative work. I'd love to know what seeds led to him composing The Rite of Spring, which reportedly set off a riot among the audience when it premiered in 1913.



Today's pipe pic is a jaunty nutcracker fisherman (or is it a fisherman nutcracker?) sent to us by Bizarro reader Larry B. of Beverly Farms, MA.


Larry wrote:

Just a little nutcracker from my ever-burgeoning collection. It’s displayed every Xmas in our home.

Thanks to Larry for sharing this charming photo.



To the best of my knowledge, none of the latest Bizarro panels sparked a riot.


My beloved Italian grandma had plastic slipcovers on the furniture in her living room, along with plastic floor runners so you didn't have to step on the carpeting. She also had a plastic-free "front room," where we played games, watched TV, and enjoyed the wonderful aromas of the food she prepared in the nearby kitchen. I'm sure many friends have similar fond memories of their immigrant elders.

It works every time. They just can't resist turning that crank.

Wednesday's panel was the rare gag that was fully formed when I first thought of it. Each successive "Z" should be read a little quieter than its predecessor.

The strip version presents the image to the reader first, followed by the nested balloons. Both layouts work, but in slightly different ways.

Wolfie was ready to retire before he turned six.

I often search for reference images when drawing specific items or people, and this one was no exception. Here are the pictures I studied when drawing the panel:

Oil painting (1767) of young Mozart by Pietro Antonio Lorenzoni 

A 1775 portrait of Anna Maria Mozart by Rosa Hagenauer

Mozart's childhood home in Salzburg

An 18th-century child's wagon
I overdid the homework on this one, but it's my idea of fun.

Friday's panel is the latest example of a verbal construction I refer to as a streptonym. After fourteen years, I'm still waiting for the term to catch on.

This caption might have been inspired by a typo or an errant autocorrection.


That's our blog for Week 25 of 2025. Drop by next Saturday for another six-pack of cartoon fun.


Bonus Track

Jane Aire & the Belvederes: "Yankee Wheels"
Stiff Records 45 BUY26, 1978


"Yankee Wheels," which was recorded by Akron's Jane Aire and written by Akron's Liam Sternberg. It doesn't feel like summer until I spin this old favorite.



Alternate Bizarro Outposts

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Saturday, June 14, 2025

Automated Infringement

This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend Dan Piraro created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.

Wayno 



I had my first serious encounter with AI thievery this week, in a smaller echo of the recent wholesale counterfeiting of multiple editorial cartoonists.

A sharp-eyed reader contacted Dan Piraro to alert us to an online ad for a plumbing company in Louisiana. The ad used one of my Bizarro gags, that had been fed into some AI platform and redrawn in a bland, soulless style, with no accreditation to the original source. The colors and staging were the same as my original panel, and the dialogue was identical. It was clearly a copy.

We brought the fakery to the attention of our editors at King Features and they forwarded it to the appropriate legal watchdogs. Apparently, they did their job, because the bogus Bizarro cartoon has disappeared, at least from the place where we saw it.

Coincidentally, the topic of using AI to "assist" artists came up recently on the local illustrators' group's online forum. A member had fed a photo of a painting in progress to an AI platform to see how it would describe the work.

I was among the respondents, and did my best to articulate my disdain for doing anything to further enable the harvesting of human creativity.

Colleagues, please think twice before inputting anything you created into an AI app. Everything you feed it is used for its "training."

I just learned about someone who prompted AI to "redraw" one of my cartoons and used it as an ad for their business. It's definitely copied from my work but dumbed down into a bland, generic "style." With no accreditation, of course.
 

I'd share the two images for you to compare them side-by-side, but that would only spread more copies of the counterfeit. Feeding any AI platform work that you created, even once, just out of curiosity, is harmful to yourself and your peers.

Beyond its ability to facilitate theft from artists, AI is a serious environmental threat due to its insane energy requirements.

Sorry to get all lecture-y. I realize that a lot of AI is nearly unavoidable since it's embedded in almost everything we use. I don't mean to be a scold, but it's coming after all of us, and I hope we don't put out the welcome mat for it!

Here's a well-reasoned essay on the topic that does a much better job than I could. And it was written by a human.

Multiple members of the forum offered their opinions in a lively and respectful discussion on the topic. One participant seemed a little too defensive about resisting AI, which made me wonder how much they might be relying on it to assist or enhance their work. But I'm of a naturally suspicious nature, so who knows.

No doubt the debate will continue for a long time to come, assuming the world isn't burnt to a lump of smoldering coal in the near future.



Today's historical pipe pic comes to us from a Bizarro reader from Nipomo, CA (the same location as last week's contributor!)



I'll leave it to our correspondent to elaborate:
My grandfather, D. H. Wulzen Jr., was a pharmacist in San Francisco who became interested in photography beginning about 1897. He left over a thousand glass plate negatives when he passed, and my father (who became a commercial photographer) spent considerable time in his later years making prints and donating the best work to various collections. 

The original plate of this shot now resides in the San Francisco Historical Society collections at the SF Public Library. Like his acquaintance, Arnold Genthe, DHW spent time in SF's Chinatown and took many memorable photos of the people and built environment. 

The man pictured here is probably taking a break from his work in the basement restaurant that is behind him. The SF library mentions that this is an opium pipe, but [that is] not so, as opium pipes have different unique characteristics. This is just a guy on his smoke break. We don't have a specific date on this one, but all of the Chinatown photos were taken in 1900 and 1901, so [it was] well before the 1906 earthquake and fire.

Thanks for the fascinating backstory to this museum-worthy photo.



I was recently approached by a company that sells CBD gummies named after a famous stoner comedy duo, and offered a "social media collaboration opportunity" to promote their product on my Insta in exchange for some chewable samples.


Unfortunately, my system can't handle CBD (and forget about THC), so I declined, and, as always, these gags were created by a human cartoonist, without the influence of artificial intelligence or drugs.


Best of all, the pharmacy the fills the prescription accepts Monopoly money.

A colleague who saw this cartoon asked me what cursive sounds like, and I can't stop wondering about it myself.

When the criminals were arrested, Variety's agricultural edition ran the headline, Fake Fungi Fools Farmstand Frequenters.

Thursday's panel was almost a Tarzan gag captioned Man of the Loincloth, but I came to my senses.

Bizarro celebrated Father's Day a bit early this year.

The week ended with that beloved Italian cartoon character, Prosciutto Porco.


Thanks for reading this far down into the post. You're almost done, and I appreciate your eyeballs. See you next week with more visual and verbal shenanigans.



Bonus Track

Groucho Marx: "Father's Day"
Decca Records, 1957


Happy Father's Day to all the dads reading the blog, whether your children are human, feline, canine, or otherwise.



A Bounty of Bizarro Bits & Bobs

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Saturday, June 07, 2025

Clear Memory Cache

This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend Dan Piraro created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.

Wayno 



Greetings from steamy Hollywood Gardens, PA. Summer weather finally arrived in the greater Pittsburgh area, and unconfirmed reports suggest that your cartoonist might actually have worn short pants once or twice (but only inside the house).

Due to the aftereffects of heat-induced sleep deprivation, I'm cutting the intro short and jumping ahead to a groovy pipe pic. It's a 1965 shot of the late American soul singer Fontella Bass, looking determined and defiant.



John C., a faithful Bizarro reader from Nipomo, California, spotted the photo on a British music magazine's website and sent it my way.

A tip of the Bizarro stingy-brim to John C. for sharing such a cool photo with us.



In case you're wondering, I was appropriately attired when drawing the latest Bizarro panels.


Visit your favorite online retailer and search for "Items that seem spectacular at first but blow up in an ironic and often tragic manner."


"Also, your résumé says you're only available twelve nights per year."


A possible future for medical research in the US.


There is such a thing as overcompliance.


Friday's panel plays with the visual vocabulary of cartoons, something we enjoy doing from time to time. In 2022, I did a whole week of gags that treated speech balloons and thought bubbles as physical objects visible to the characters in the panels. In that week's blog post, I referred to Mort Walker's 1980 book The Lexicon of Comicana, which defines and names many of the graphic devices used by cartoonists.


The Lexicon has been out of print for years and used copies often sell for big money, but I've heard that a new edition is being released later this year. I think that Bizarro readers would enjoy it.


During the 1967-1968 season, Star Trek experimented with product placement in an episode that was never aired. We were happy to recreate it for you.


Thanks for visiting the old blogeroo. We'll be back in seven days with another fresh batch of words and pictures.



Bonus Track

Fontella Bass: "Rescue Me"
Checker Records, 1965


Ms. Bass sang quite powerfully for a pipe-smoker. Her 1965 single on the Checker Records label topped the R&B charts for four weeks. Although it was composed and recorded in Chicago, the tune gives Motown a run for its money.



A Cabinet of Bizarro Curiosities

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Saturday, May 31, 2025

What a Card

 This is the weekly dispatch from Bizarro Studios North, where I have been writing and drawing the Monday through Saturday Bizarro comics since 2018. My partner and friend Dan Piraro created Bizarro in the late twentieth century and continues to do the Sunday comic from Rancho Bizarro in Mexico.

Wayno 



AI agents... are largely bad to use, especially now, and in most all contexts. Their dangers are environmental, economic, and existential. As a "tool" they are far too destructive.
~Frank Elavsky


Last week in this space, I argued against AI "art" and advocated for works created by human effort. Not long after that, my BlueSky feed displayed an essay titled Stop Saying That AI Is Just a Tool and It Only Matters How It Is Used.

The epigraph above summarizes Frank's premise, but I recommend reading the whole treatise. It's more than convincingly damning and makes a solid case for humanity.

Mr. Elavsky is not only a brilliant researcher but also a creative and kind person, which I know firsthand because he's one of my neighbors.

I hope you enjoy Frank's post and consider all that he has to say.


This week's pipe pic is an elegant shot of music critic Ralph J. Gleason, looking rather Sherlockian.



Bizarro field correspondent Nate D. brought this one to my attention in January, writing:

I’m reading a fantastic book called Three Shades of Blue: Miles Davis John Coltrane Bill Evans and the Lost Empire of Cool. Ralph J. Gleason came up so I went to his wiki and saw this photo.
Thanks to Nate for the image and for recommending the fascinating book on three important musicians.



As always, this week's Bizarro gags were created without the use of artificial intelligence.


Monday's panel adds to the familiar phrase, "Check your ego at the door."

Tuesday's gag featured sour, surly streamers.

Moving from "id" to "ID" in two days, we peek in at some joker trying to buy alcohol.

The character's outfit was based on a vintage playing card design.

Later, these two closed down the Diminutive Distillery.

We once looked at a home on a nearby one-way street, across from a schoolyard, but we decided there was too much traffic noise. We were relieved to have walked away from it when, a few years later, a bunch of tennis courts were retrofitted for pickleball.

Every occupation has its hazards.


That's a wrap on another week of words & pictures from Bizarro Studios North. Drop by next Saturday to see what shenanigans we come up with.


Bonus Track

Bob Dylan: "Jokerman"
Live on Late Night With David Letterman
CBS-TV, March 22, 1984


Dylan delivers an energetic performance backed by Los Angeles punk trio The Plugz (who later became The Cruzados).
Trivia note: Plugz guitarist Tito Larriva was also an actor whose first role was in the 1981 Pee-wee Herman Show, playing a smart-aleck kid named Hammy.



Bushels of Bizarro Bric-a-Brac

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