Last week, I found my name on the Wikipedia page for underground cartoonist Willy Murphy (1936-1976).
Murphy certainly influenced much of my early-1990s work, and still I enjoy and admire his comix. Also, it was nice to be mentioned alongside Paul Mavrides and Gilbert Shelton.
Willy Murphy combined a wacky drawing style with hilarious and smart writing. He was a sharp observer and critic (as well as a member) of the 70's counterculture. His best material was collected in the two issues of Flamed-Out Funnies. They're available online at reasonable prices, and are well worth reading. I'm not sure that Murphy's influence is evident in this week's Bizarro gags, but here they are anyway.
Are nursery rhymes designed to brainwash children to be happy conformists? This disgruntled dad thinks so. Maybe he's right, but maybe he just shouldn't read to his kid on Mondays.
Fun fact #1: We never pass up a chance to use a word like "blowholes."
Fun fact #2: If this were a group of crows, it would be called a murdercast.
The Bluebird of Happiness may be more popular, but the Grackle of Melancholia is the more common feathered emoji.
By lucky coincidence, I wrote this gag for the week that includes Take Your Child To Work Day, a subject I've poked fun at in the past. Like many fellow cartoonists, my feline offspring accompany me to work every day.
Eventually, he'll realize that the Tail Fairy is just a fairy tale.
The poor guy's still got so much more to take. Don't forget to read Dan Piraro's blog for his take on this week's gags and to admire his latest Bizarro Sunday page.
Bonus Track "Boris the Spider," written by the Who's bass player, John Entwistle.
Pete Townshend noted that this was Jimi Hendrix's favorite Who song.
Before you go off to hide hard-boiled eggs in the yard, why not take a look back at the week in Bizarro cartoons?
Monday's gag depicts dual meanings of the word "monitor." This happened shortly after the company announced the introduction of "enhanced supervision techniques."
Readers are welcome to imagine which actors would do the voices for this nonexistent animated feature.
Further evidence that climate change is real.
The norm for haiku in English is a sequence of three non-rhyming lines consisting of five, seven, and five syllables, although that requirement has been relaxed in recent times. I felt that the familiar 5-7-5 form was necessary for this gag to work, and, I prefer haiku conforming to those constraints.
Speaking of poetry, if you enjoy well-done limericks, check out Five Lines, No Waiting, by piano virtuoso Tom McDermott. His new CD of Scott Joplin compositions is also recommended. Both items are available from Louisiana Music Factory.
For Good Friday, we offered a Biblical forecast.
Fortunately COBRA insurance covers the hoodie of shame. For further smartypants commentary and a groovy Easter Sunday Bizarro page, check out Dan's Piraro's blog. Bonus Track Note: Some YouTube videos are not available outside the US.
The verses of "Moonlight in Vermont" follow the 5-7-5 haiku format. The song was written by John Blackburn and Karl Suessdorf, and was published in 1944. It was first recorded by Margaret Whiting. This Billie Holiday version is from 1957.
It's the last weekend before Tax Day here in the US. That's the deadline for twenty-six percent of our country's eligible voters to see yet another example of the damage caused by their horrible choice, although they'll probably fail (or refuse) to recognize it.
This scene might represent a form of progress, or it could be a case of substituting one obsessive behavior for another. At least digital music and books are less physically exhausting to rearrange.
This investigator knows it's better to wait until a case is cold before opening it. Especially when it's a hoppy brew.
Artie had been refusing dessert until they found him a proper pudding grail.
Did we have several conversations with our editors to discuss the punctuation in that second sentence? Yes, we did.
I've never sneezed while unlocking my phone, but I occasionally distort my face and see if it recognizes me. I've only fooled it once.
Extreme dehydration has been known to result in rude behavior. At least he didn't ask for sparkling water. If you enjoy this commentary, I recommend reading Dan Piraro's Bizarro Blog, where he also discusses the week's comics, and shows off his cartooning prowess with his latest Sunday panel.
Bonus Track
A video from 1966 that's blurry, slightly out of sync, and sublime.
Note: Some YouTube videos are not available outside the US.
Early this week, I received my contributor's copy of The Book of Weirdo, a massive, thoroughly-researched history of the legendary 1980s comix anthology founded by Robert Crumb. Early in my cartooning career, I managed to get a page published in Weirdo, and I'm jazzed to be included in this beautiful book.
A Satisfied Customer
Portrait of the Artist as a Young Weirdo
This week also marks a Bizarro milestone for your humble cartoonist, which we'll get to shortly, but first, let's look at our latest offerings.
Monday's gag comments on a topic we're calling "ivory insularity." It also includes an intentionally-wrong April Fools' Day secret symbol count. Of course, there are actually eighty-seven symbols in this one.
We generally prefer drawing inanimate objects in a realistic manner, without human faces, clothing, or limbs, unless these additions are necessary to clearly deliver the gag.
Adapting the art to the strip layout wasn't difficult, but it made for a more dramatic presentation.
I wasn't surprised to learn that an app like this exists. I can attest that the alarm function would be effective.
Surprisingly (or maybe not), Wednesday's cartoon is based on an actual tattoo.
Bizarroversary Flashback Gag
Although I've only been writing and drawing the daily Bizarro comics since January 1, 2018, my collaborations with Dan Piraro go back ten years. Wednesday marked the tenth anniversary of the very first time my name appeared in Bizarro. Above is the gag that led us to today. I'm forever grateful to Dan for leaving the side door unlocked so an intruder like me could sneak in. We now return to the current series, already in progress.
There's probably be an evolutionary reason for mice preferring rounded doorways, but I've yet to encounter a satisfactory explanation.
My favorite part of this drawing is the "Hole Depot" apron.
The ol' spud looks pretty chipper, considering the subject at hand.
Maybe he's relaxed because he's already selected his urn.
The naughtiness of this cartoon is directly proportional to the lasciviousness of the reader's imagination.
Working out the gag in my sketchbook required an bit of diagramming. Dan Piraro's comments on these cartoons, along with his latest Sunday gag, can be viewed on his own blog.
In related news, King Features Syndicate is in the process of updating the Comics Kingdom site, where you can read Bizarro every day for free. Bonus Track #1
"Fine Artiste Blues" by R. Crumb and his Cheap Suit Serenaders
Robert Crumb, founding editor of Weirdo, is also an accomplished musician and longtime record collector.
Bonus Track #2
"Potato Chips" by Slim Gaillard
By the way, if you're looking for the perfect gift to commemorate my tenth Bizarroversary, I'd love to get a copy of Slim Gaillard's Vout-O-Reenee Dictionary.
I had a grand time at last Saturday's Hell With Lid Off barleywine festival. A tip of the old porkpie to the crew at Kelly's Bar & Lounge for managing the logistics of this spectacular event. A few customers even asked me to autograph their posters, which was flattering and enjoyable.
I hope the week's cartoons are worthy of following HWTLO.
This employee's performance review was harsh, but accurate to the first decimal place. The minimum requirement for advancement is eighty percent-baked.
Tueday's cartoon blurs the line between health coaching and life coaching.
Shoats these days have no respect for decorum. This one was fun to draw, and I had to concentrate on making the younger pig look neat and clean.
In a weird way, it makes sense.
This does make him look bright and shiny, but as soon as he's applied all of the whitening strips, it's time to start peeling them off again.
I'm reasonably certain this is the first time the word "broccolini" has appeared in a Bizarro cartoon.
Don't forget to peek into Dan Piraro's weekly blog post for a fresh Sunday page, additional wisecracks about last week's cartoons, and strong opinions about a couple of animals from the funny pages.
Bonus Track
Louis Armstrong: The Skeleton in the Closet (1936)
Louis Daniel Armstrong (1901-1971) was the greatest American musician of all time, and his recorded legacy is unmatched. Do not try to contradict me on this point*.
For this fan, Armstrong's sweetest spot was 1931 heading into 1932. If you ever run across a copy of this CD, I recommend snagging it:
* Even so, I would happily live the rest of my days without ever again hearing his recordings of Mame; Hello, Dolly; and What a Wonderful World. I could, however, listen to the 1931 version of Wrap Your Troubles in Dreams any day or time.
This afternoon, I'll be attending the 15th annual Hell with the Lid Off barleywine festival. It's important to be well-rested for HWTLO, so this week's comments are briefer than usual to allow for extra nap time.
Coincidentally, the soldiers' last names are Toothpick, Tweezers, Nail File, Corkscrew, Can Opener, Screwdriver, Awl, and Fish Scaler.
Swiss military personnel also have an extra leg joint for enhanced foldability.
The yellow beak is colorful enough, let's not go crazy.
Domestic felines require plenty of sleep so they can wake their human companions early in the morning for breakfast.
The candidate who promises to bring back crash test jobs is guaranteed the blockhead vote. Or should that be the blockhead bloc?
"Your health is generally good, but I want you to cut back on cigarette loads."
UPDATE: We at Bizarro Studios categorically deny receiving advance notice of the release of the Mueller Report, and did not coordinate with the so-called deep state on the timing of today's cartoon.
Thanks for following Bizarro, and for putting up with my weekly ramblings. Dan Piraro offers his own take on the week's gags at his blog. Come back next week for a new batch of gags and more behind-the-scenes insight, or get the blog delivered every week by entering your email address in the "Receive New Posts by Email" box in the upper right corner of this page.
Bonus Tracks
Over the weekend, we learned of the passing of the undisputed king of surf guitar, Dick Dale, and Detroit R&B legend Andre "Mr. Rhythm" Williams. Both were in their early 80s, and each made plenty of unique, entertaining music. Here's one of Dick Dale's earliest hits, which became his signature tune.
It wasn't easy to pick a single Andre Williams record to share, but this is one of my favorites.
March 17 is thought to be the anniversary of the Christian missionary's death. Americans traditionally celebrate this cultural and religious event on the nearest Saturday by engaging in excessive drinking of tinted beer, donning ridiculous outfits, screaming in bars as countless faux-Irish bands play the same handful of songs, and public purging of bodily fluids. Venturing out to dinner on this particular Saturday is nearly as foolhardy as doing it on Valentine's Day.
While we remain safe and warm inside Bizarro Studios North, sipping a Guinness as our corned beef & cabbage simmers, we offer a recap of the week's cartoon shenanigans.
McRodent's food isn't just fast, it scurries. They call this one the Unhappy Meal.
Tuesday's gag reveals the origin of the cliche, "so clean, you can eat off the floor."
At least it's organic, and promises a shorter wait till the regurgitation begins.
The word "clement," meaning "mild," is so rarely used that it sounds like a joke.
Thanks, Bill, but we really didn't need to know that.
Saturday's cartoon pictures the newly popular "He's led an otherwise blameless life" defense. Thanks for reading Bizarro, and for your comments and shares throughout the week. You deserve a gold star for following up with the blog. For even more behind-the-panel analysis, check out my collaborator Dan Piraro's weekly posting, along with his latest Sunday page. By the way, Dan recently gave his website a makeover, and included a nice little blurb in the FAQs explaining a bit about how we divide up the duties at Bizarro Studios:
Who's Wayno?
Before January 1, 2018, Dan wrote and drew over 95% of the gags for Bizarro. After almost 35 years of writing and drawing a joke every single day, Dan has given himself a much-deserved break, and now only creates the Sunday cartoons. The Monday-through-Saturday cartoons are now all drawn and written by Dan’s good friend and colleague, Wayno, although they collaborate on many of the ideas and discuss how to make each one the best it can be.
Here's Dan'sblog post with a detailed explanation.
