Farcical Gas

Well, my first 52 weeks at Bizarro have flown by. My actual one-year anniversary is January 1, but I think I'll celebrate now, and again on Monday.

This is a good time to extend my thanks to everyone whose support and encouragement kept me going. These good peeps know who they are. If you're reading this blog post, that means you too.

On to the past week in cartoons.

We kicked off the week with a traditional Christmas scene, from the short story The Gift of the Magus who Couldn't Be There in Person.

A dedicated humorist is willing to suffer for his art. Once again, we dip into the bottomless well of clown gags.

The HR representative had backup to help understand the applicant's responses, since his mother accompanied him on the job interview. She's seated out of frame.

The poor guy will never get ahead in corporate America unless he can conquer this character flaw.

Felines know how to play head games with their human companions, and will exhibit weird and troubling symptoms right up until the time they see the vet. My two favorite details in this panel are the Eyeball of Observation on the poster showing a parasite's life cycle, and the self-satisfied look on the cat's face. He knows he's got a couple of suckers on the line.

Saturday's gag provides a peek into the near future, based on focus group studies.

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Be sure to read Dan Piraro's blog, and check out his latest Sunday Bizarro page.

And please do come back to this blog next week. I hear my Bizarro one year service award is in the mail, and maybe I'll show it off.

Stovepipe Envy

Another Saturday is upon us, which means it's time for the cartoon recap from Bizarro Studios North. Here's what we served up on this week's Smörgåsbord.

Proceed with caution. The first comic depicts human nipples.

Mathematically, this is the reciprocal of an X-ray, so the correct notation is probably X^-1-ray.

This is also known as the Baby Step Program.

Historical fact: Stephen Douglas, at 5'4", was a a full 12 inches shorter than Abe Lincoln. 

Historical speculation: Douglas lobbied for another debate after acquiring his custom-made smokestack hat.

If you gotta go, at least go in style.

My comical colleagues Rina Piccolo and Hilary Price ran a different gag involving the Reaper and a Venetian vessel back in November, on the very day I uploaded today's Bizarro. However, we all maintain there was NO COLLUSION.

Friday's comic is an experiment in misdirection. It's fun and satisfying for a cartoonist to find a way to draw something that looks like something else, in hopes that the reader doesn't immediately recognize the thing as what it is. Like this one, for instance.

The LAPD always asks which is your good side before they snap the mug shot.

Thanks for following for yet another week!

Be sure to read Dan Piraro's blog, to see what he has to say about this latest batch, and to gape in wonder at his Sunday Bizarro page.

Bones Track

Off the Shelf

This week's post will be less verbose than usual, since the Combo is loading up the van for a special holiday gig tonight.

Sometimes it's tough to decide. Fortunately, this restaurant offers tasting flights.

Tuesday's cartoon shows the universality of playing in the snow, and creating icons in our own image. It's an interstellar wonderland.

Did he mention that his hat is made from hand-knitted hemp fiber? In the spirit of "fool" disclosure, I must admit to owning one of those little Italian coffee pots myself, and have even been known to post photos of it.

In real life, mad scientists are few and far between. However, bad science is all the rage these days, in some circles.

We held out as long as we could, but we felt compelled to run a holiday-themed gag. This insidious character certainly adds an Orwellian touch to the season.

The police sketch artist in Pumpkintown has the easiest job on the force.

Thanks for following and reading. Be sure to check out Dan Piraro's blog for deeper insight into this week's cartoons.

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This is a fascinating, oddball record. It was a quick cash-in on the 1960s Batman TV show, a throwaway project for kids. The producers hired musicians to play a version of the Batman theme, and, apparently, whatever else they felt like doing. "The Sensational Guitars of Dan & Dale" was a totally fictional band, but was made up of stellar players who were actually members of Al Kooper's Blues Project and the Sun Ra Arkestra.

A Shred of Evidence

Welcome to the weekly report from Bizarro Studios North. 

This is Volume 1, Number 49.

Most of us picture a German Shepherd or similar intimidating breed when we think about police dogs, but Labrador Retrievers are not uncommon. Labs are often employed to sniff out drugs and explosives, or to serve as the goofy sidekick. 

Some medical studies actually back up the premise of Tuesday's cartoon. If health insurers followed expensive treatments with immediate patient reimbursement, I'd guess the rates of recovery would be even higher.

Apologies to anyone named Vince. This cartoon is not meant to represent you, but no other name would work here. I have a good friend and colleague named Vince, and I asked him to review this prior to publication. He gave me his blessing in exchange for a link to his excellent comics work. 

In the near future, we'll be transported everywhere by self-driving cars. On long road trips, those of us who are childless will be able to enjoy simulated family time as our smart devices snipe at each other in the back seat. Pass daddy's special thermos, will you?

Rats are known to be highly intelligent and adaptable, but they're often undone by their greed and dishonesty. Bizarro Studios recognizes the many benefits provided by service animals. We employ (self-prescribed) therapy animals at World HQ in Mexico and our northern location in Hollywood Gardens, USA.

Bringing the week to a close, we return to a canine theme, this time with dogs actually appearing in the panel.

Be sure to take a look at Dan Piraro's always insightful weekly blog post, which showcases his masterful Sunday Bizarro comics page.

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Calling All Carriages

It's December already, but do not fear, dear readers. We haven't started running any Santa or Nativity gags yet.

Monday's gag was inspired by an actual typo ("uniformed" for "uninformed"), and is an example of a punchline formed by adding or removing one letter. I'm not sure what to call this sort of thing. It's not so much a pun as a type of misdirection, causing the reader to look twice in order to see the unexpected word.

Unlike many social networking apps, these have actually been shown to reduce anger, anxiety, and aggression.

The opening sequence of the old Superman TV show always made me wonder if something like this happened when a bird would fly over the citizens of Metropolis.

Although I generally avoid exclamation points in dialog, they seemed appropriate here, to emphasize the characters' misplaced astonishment.

A cartoon depicting a totally believable scenario. Comments or horror stories from readers in the coffee biz are encouraged.

One should always acquaint oneself with local customs.

The saddest part of the story is that he was apparently informed of this change in status via text message.

Thanks for sticking with Bizarro for yet another week. By the time you read this, we'll be hard at work on cartoons for mid-January.

Please view Dan Piraro's ever-fascinating blog to read his comments on this week's cartoons, as well as his latest Sunday page. And it's not too late to order some Bizarro swag as a holiday gift for friends, family, and yourself. 

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I'd hoped to post a video of "10-4 (Calling all Cars)" by Benny Spellman in this space, but have been unable to locate one, so here's a Christmas tune with a healthy sprinkle of wry British cynicism from my favorite British Invasion band.

Space Pie

For those who celebrate Thanksgiving and are still recovering, I apologize for starting off with a culinary gag.

I'm feeling a bit logy myself, so this week's post is briefer than usual.

It's not easy working in a hot kitchen while wearing your raw selvedge skinny jeans.

Speed dating technology has finally advanced. 

The caption for this gag involves a form of wordplay I refer to as a streptonym. We're still waiting for the term to appear in a dictionary somewhere.

This tattooist is a wise craftsperson. Drawing somebody's kid is always risky, particularly when it's going to be a permanent addition to the client's body.

He also keeps his job description short.

It's not easy to get on Frankie's calendar. He's a very busy monster.

I close my eyes when the doctor says it, but I'm sure this is what I'd see.

Cruise on over to Bizarro.com to read Dan's blogging on this week's cartoons, and to admire his latest gorgeous Sunday page.

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Inspired by Saturday's comic, here's a song about a medical professional.




The original recording of the tune, released in 1960, was a hit record for David Seville, the stage name of Ross Bagdasarian, creator of The Chipmunks. 

The 45 of this wacky German version came in a gorgeous picture sleeve.

Scan courtesy of the Wayno Vinyl Archive

Klaatu Barada Nikto

Although it's only November, here at Bizarro Studios North, where we work on a six-week deadline, the New Year has already begun.

For many of you, this weekend is the last chance to relax before the long siege of familial and professional holiday obligations. I hope you find opportunities to enjoy a little down time between now and the beginning of the New Year.

Speaking of down time, this couple has found a method of achieving domestic tranquility. Too bad it resets after 5 minutes.

Sharp-eyed readers may have noticed a nod to a classic movie robot in the strip version of today's comic.

Of course it's Gort, the interstellar peacekeeper from 1951 film, The Day the Earth Stood Still.

I'd considered making it an autographed photo on the wall, but the signature would have been unreadable at the size comics are printed in newspapers.

Air travel has lost any semblance of the glamorous image it once had, at least for most of us who don't book luxury class. With the industry continually shrinking the seats, this passenger might be onto something.

Flying would certainly be less horrible without the congestion and delays caused by carry-on bags (most of which won't fit in the compartments anyway). When Bizarro North Airlines gets started, we'll allow checked bags at no charge and assess a $40 fee for every carry-on.

I was on a cruise ship once, and immediately felt trapped and claustrophobic. Being in a giant hotel with no exit is bad enough. The addition of karaoke would certainly be valid grounds for jumping ship.

This one evolved from an old sketch that was a little too on the nose.

I'm much happier with the new version, in part because of the two different, but applicable, meanings of the word "pad."

Friday, we take another peek inside the Rho Phi Sigma frat house, where the bros run free. I've used these character types as fodder in the past, even before I started doing the daily Bizarro comic.

When reading this gag, it helps to imagine Siri's voice has been set to "gruff Brooklynite."

Well, that's it for week 46 of Bizarro 2018. 
 
Check Dan's blog for his commentary on these gags, plus his latest Sunday masterwork.

Bonus Track

The score for The Day the Earth Stood Still was written by the prolific composer Bernard Hermann (whose most recognizable work is probably his score for Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho.)



These selections from the soundtrack feature the otherworldly sound of the theremin, played by Dr. Samuel Hoffman. Dr. Hoffman (who was also a podiatrist) had a long career playing theremin, and one of his last sessions on Captain Beefheart's 1967 album Safe as Milk, which featured the good doctor's eerie sounds on two tracks.

Up All Night

After this past week, we all could use a break from politics. A look back at the latest batch of cartoon high jinks might do the trick.

Monday's Bizarro generated quite a bit of online discussion, including some particularly intolerant comments from a few readers. One person in particular complained repeatedly on my Instagram feed about finding the cartoon "disturbing." He insisted that his discomfort was not in any way homophobic, but that he was upset by "political correctness inserted in a gag." Maybe he just doesn't like blueberry pie.

Dan Piraro described our comic collaborations in a 2011 interview thusly:

Our sense of humor depends for the most part on a realistic scene with realistic people where something really strange is happening to them.

That's the way we view this gag, although the pie and eyeball skew it away from realism somewhat.

I once watched a whole concert through the screen of the person in front of me who held their phone at my eye level, but all credit for inspiring this comic goes to my friend Lisa, specifically her wonderful review of a recent show here in Pittsburgh.

The best comment on this gag came from Bizarro's CEO (Chief Eyeball Officer) Dan Piraro, when I sent him the initial sketch: I keep thinking you’ll run out of clown gags but it’s the genre that just keeps giving.

I've no doubt people have heard this when inquiring about their health care coverage, at least here in the US.
 
Converting this gag to the strip layout was surprisingly challenging, until I realized I could get away with showing it as the view through the registration window at a medical office.

A simple joke, but I chuckled as I drew it. I really should do more lumberjack humor.

Saturday's cartoon does double duty. It's a little giggle about the nearly opposite meanings of a single English language word, and also comments on the willful irresponsibility of certain individuals placed in such positions.

Please also read Dan's blog, for more behind-the-scenes insight, and to marvel at his latest Sunday panel, which is always beautiful to behold.

Bonus Track

Another Nail in My Heart by Squeeze
(The band I had to view through some knucklehead's phone)